Just so you know, I won’t be posting too much on this blog for this month. Things have been busy for me, but they will get busier this month. I won’t post at my scheduled times unless it’s about something important, I feel strongly about, or maybe if I get a chance to do something creative at some point, but we’ll see. Thank you for supporting this blog though.
This has been a very busy week for me with so many ups and downs. My birthday didn’t feel like one despite some congrats from different people. I am thankful I can at least decompress a bit today and just chill after multiple days travailing for half a day multiple days in a row.
Across the ocean
An unlikely gift
The C in C-list might as well stand for canceled
Hardcore New Yorker accents and millions of dollars
Couldn’t salvage one’s reputation like the bars he claimed to do
Yelling, bossing it up, and saltier attitudes than the Atlantic Ocean
Only worked for so long
“Starving dogs are obedient dogs!”
Says the man who acquired handouts from Uncle Sam while lambasting others for being lazy (selective socialism, much?)
Spoken like a tried-and-true slave master
Prayers are raised to heaven for the right person to shove kettles in your face
As he’s forced to converse with them with a side of crow sandwiches
Certain people aren’t allowed to act like you in your show when they’ve been punished for less
Another entry into the hypocrisy portfolio
The only apologies are being late for saying “Bye, Felicia”
Despite only seeing the program in passing (the blood boiled quite often even while ignoring everything)
I’m still recovering from some depression and some mental health issues, but it was good seeing that the Ospreyshire blog is now half a decade old now. I can’t believe I’ve made it this far even if I diverged from the original intent of this blog. Thank you to everyone who supports me. It’s been rough, but I’m glad I was able to persevere at this point. I do need to improve with the Ospreyshire project and not deal with so many setbacks.
A lot of stress has been building up over the past couple of weeks. I’ve been working a lot, but I’ve had little time to decompress. I had feelings of depression and anxiety a ton recently. While it was good seeing some encouraging messages from people for situations irrelevant to my blog for different reasons, I still feel like I’m just a failure. My content on here hasn’t been up to par, I am struggling with material on here, and I think a ton of my projects are just going to be doomed to fail. Sometimes I wonder why I even both with this kind of stuff on here. I’ve also been angry as I realize how much more I’ve been manipulated and gaslighted. Being silenced all this time has enraged me and I realized that not everything was my fault or I wasn’t wrong all the time. It sickens me how people want to cling onto toxic positivity and ignore reality. It was like I wasn’t allowed to have an opinion or to speak truth to others. I wondered if others got or still get uncomfortable when I mention some of these things that aren’t popular or positive. Someone like me doesn’t have the privilege for that kind of convenience. That’s not even getting into the deluge of hypocrisy I’m seeing both offline and online from various people or some random things I managed to catch on TV. It is beyond frustrating seeing people get away with crap that is wrong as well as something I would NEVER get a free pass for if I was a jerk or straight up heinous. I don’t want to pretend that everything is alright because I’m struggling with my mental health. I don’t know how consistent I will be with posting things on this blog. Don’t get it twisted. I’m not asking for sympathy or fishing for compliments. I just had to get some of these emotions out of my chest. God, I feel like damaged goods.
Bore da, world
Kombo na ngai, Ospreyshire
Baka Amerikajin ja nai, minna-tachi
I need to be more than finite
Unu lingvo neniam sufiĉas
Kwaheri. Nakutakia siku njema.
I have to vent, but I’ll do it in a brief fashion.
1. I feel like I’ve been realizing how much more I’ve been gaslighted in my past and not doing my best to show I’m right in certain arguments.
2. I think I have nothing but failures.
3. My efforts seem to be worthless yet people who don’t even try are more successful than me.
4. People not taking responsibility for their words or actions when they’re in the wrong. It gets even worse when they shift the blame on others or me for their wrongdoings or reactions.
5. Others ignoring atrocities and other horrific acts if it doesn’t fit their realities.
6. People pretending to be the victim.
7. Others having a hissy fit towards me or about me even though I’m not insulting them, attacking them, harassing them, or talking about them. That’s not my style since I’ve never been good at insulting others. It says a lot more about them than it does with me when they react that way and I wish I learned about that part of psychology a lot earlier in my life.
8. Others gossiping and slandering me behind my back whether literally or figuratively.
9. People saying that I’m whining or overreacting when I talk about various subjects whether milquetoast or very severe. Interestingly enough, those same people can’t say I’m lying. Also, it reveals a lot about their character when they overreact and unintentionally proving me right about a few things depending on the topic.
Visions are waiting
A translation is coming
To end this stasis
This is an infuriating story, but I’m not surprised nor is this situation the only case.
A nurse was taking care of an elderly COVID patient who confessed that she lied about a Black boy attacking her in the 1930s and had him lynched, castrated, and watched his house burned down. She mentioned this story on TikTok and it managed to get some attention. I was beyond sickened how she literally got away with murder. Sure, people may know about Emmett Till and how that she-devil admitted to lying about him, but there are plenty more stories that aren’t even reported even now.
And people tell me that this doesn’t happen in America and want to deny this bloody history.
This is pure depravity and I hope she experiences as much spiritual torture forevermore. As Phillip said, Black people would NEVER gang up on a Caucasian person, lynch them, and castrate them (they certainly wouldn’t get away with it if it did happen and that is straight FACTS!). The fact that this harpy wanted it to happen because the boy’s sisters had nicer dresses than she did? Unbelievable! It sickens me how these racists get away with everything. Not only that but there are still to this day no anti-lynching laws which I didn’t even know that until at least a year ago. What should that tell you about this country? I’m beyond furious how evil people like her got to live their lives while people who have done far less than what she did get murdered with impunity. Hell, lynching used to be a public spectacle where they would stop school and work just to kill a Black person in America! I’m holding back from using some profanity-laden rant about her. These are some diabolical double standards and no one can tell me ANYTHING about stereotypes associated with my heritage let alone associated with my maternal side of my family.