Thoughts and Delving into My Bad Habit of Self-Loathing

I wondered if encouraging others and showing support was enough.

While it felt good saying kind words, promoting the works of others, and even purchasing some works of others whenever I had a bit of fun money (books, music, art, etc.), I wondered if my words and actions mattered in the long run. There were some thankful people which is awesome and I appreciate it, but sometimes I wouldn’t get a response after doing something kind to someone. I pondered if I was somehow not good enough to support others and don’t even get me started about my experiences of some very ungrateful people out there. It made me think if my support and help even mattered to others. How should I know? Sometimes I never get the responses if anyone actually cares.

Besides that, I’ve been doing my best not to feel down…again.

I feel like every day I remember horrible memories and how certain things said and done to me were more abusive in hindsight. There were times that I wish I would’ve stuck with different hobbies or skills. Then I will be more appreciated by others and people would be forced to say that I have talents instead of having to prove everything to anyone or everyone. If I had more confidence back then, I would make sure to shut down their insults quickly. Maybe I would’ve counteracted to verbally destroy their self-esteem to defend myself. Life is really stupid like that as I know the past can’t be changed. I could keep creating things, but I know they won’t be up to par no matter how much effort I put in. I can’t lie. I’ve also been jealous of other bloggers on WordPress as they seem to have better lives than I do, have more self-esteem, and somehow always know the right words to say.

Dazzling Blogger Award!

Here’s an award that I’ve never been nominated for before. I was tagged with The Dazzling Blogger Award by Experience Film! Thank you very much! Experience Film has made great posts involving film reviews, filmmaking, and even features some of his video projects on there.

This award was created by Helen at Crispy Confessions where this particular award was created to recognize bloggers who excel in at least one major facet of blogging. This can be content, writing skills, social media marketing, or engagement.

My Answers to Experience Film’s Questions:


1) What inspired you to start your blog?

It all started with my spoken word project of the same name. I featured my recordings on there and poems, but I then expanded into talking about other subjects and even other blogs with my fiction as well as my reviews on film, anime, and documentaries.

2) Who is your hero / heroine in fiction (and why)?

Good question since I rarely read fiction as much as I used to. I guess Yugo Beppu from Yugo the Negotiator would be one of my favorite heroes in fiction with him being able to use his intelligence in amazing ways and has a crazy amount of willpower. It’s also interesting how he’s forced to not use violence to save the day and can still get the job done with rescuing others.

3) How would you describe your personality? List 5 adjectives. Or if you know your MBTI, Big 5, enneagram, astrology signs, etc. use those!

Innovative, Generous, Encouraging, Autodidactic, and Artsy…I’m doing my best to be positive here. Hahaha!

4) Have you ever made a decision that completely changed the course of your life? What was it?

I could name some positive decisions, but that would be too personal given some current things going on. I guess taking a DNA test to find out my ethnic background (more so on my mom’s side even though I was still surprised with the sample percentages on my dad’s side) had an impact on me because I wanted to learn the history of my heritage especially when I had no clue about which ethnic stock I came from on my maternal side. It allowed me to research the cultures and helped me to have some confidence.

5) What items are closest to you in the room right now?

Well, I’m in my little office space at my place. Besides my computer which I typed this post with, there’s an iPod, a couple of international movie DVDs (currently from Uruguay and Haiti), notebooks, batteries, and a portable camcorder for my film projects.

6) Name something you are good at. And something you wish you were good at, but definitely aren’t.

Saying anything good about myself is difficult. I’m good at geography and learning about world cultures. It’s ridiculous with things I wish I was good at. Maybe sports or cooking?

7) Who inspires you, in your life?

Another tough question since not a lot of people inspire me. Maybe some recent non-fiction authors I’ve been checking out when it comes to opening my eyes to the world a bit?


Questions for my nominees:


1: What makes your blog stand out in some way, shape or form?

2: Which bloggers have inspired your content?

3: You could hang out with three others somewhere. One is an artist (filmmaker/musician/visual art/etc), a fictional character, and an athlete. Who would they be, where, would you go, and what would activities would the 4 of you participate in?

4: What is one interest or hobby that you never thought you would get into?

5: Which creative individual do you think is massively underrated?

6: Where would your dream vacation be?

7: Who is the most famous person that you’ve met in real life?


My nominees:

Giftie Speaks

MIB’s Instant Headache

Matt Doyle Media

The Review Heap

Everything is Bad For You

Reasons to Anime

Blerdy Otome

Nestle and Cargill financing child slavery for their chocolate industries, yet SCOTUS rejects a lawsuit to stop them from getting sued by those formally enslaved.

I know Nestle has done really bad things in the past like that heinous baby formula fiasco story my mom told me about when I was a child, but this is just plain sick. So apparently, Nestle and Cargill have financed their chocolate businesses by using child slaves as young as 5 years old in Cote D’Ivoire (or Ivory Coast if you prefer) and Mali for 12-14 hours a day under abusive conditions like getting beaten, starved out, and under armed surveillance among other ghastly things. The formally enslaved people tried to make a lawsuit against these companies for human rights abuses and who can blame them? However, the Supreme Court in America denied the lawsuit from an 8-1 majority (Yes, both Republicans AND Democrats voted to reject the suit) because this happened outside of America. So let me get this straight. People can be arrested for sexual assault or being a Nazi outside of the country even if it was outside the nation as they should be incarcerated, but for being involved in child slavery isn’t good enough to throw the book at the companies and their accomplices? Unbelievable! Do your jobs, SCOTUS!

Me being offended about this happening isn’t just on principle in my case, but this offends me as a human being. While Nestle and Cargill deserve to be boycotted and charged with slavery, the accomplices directly in those African nations need to be locked up as well. This is hardcore selling out on so many levels and those governments should rescue the enslaved and shut down these plantations. Slavery is still going on in the world, but sadly not many people still realize this.

If you do buy chocolate, then please do your research on the companies like if they’re fair trade for example. For me, I won’t be buying anything from these companies.

Don’t just focus on the Crunch Bars, NesQuik chocolate milk, or NesCafe coffee. Here are other brands that each respective company owns.

Nestle:

Gerber
Tombstone pizza
Perrier
San Pellegrino
Cheerios
Nestle Pure Life
NaturNes
Cerelac
Fitness cereal
Lion cereal
Nespresso
Hot Pockets
Stouffer’s
Herta
Buitoni
Lean Cuisine
Maggi
Thomy
Carnation
Coffee-Mate
Nido
La Laitiere
Nestea
Milo
Chef
Chef-Mate
Minor’s
Sjora
Boost
Nutren Junior
Peptamen
Resource
Dreyer’s
Extreme
Haagen-Dazs
Movenpick
Nestle Ice Cream
Alpo
Bakers Complete
Beneful
Cat Chow
Toll House
Kit Kat
Chef Michael’s Canine Creations
Dog Chow
Fancy Feast
Felix
Friskies
Gourmet
Purina
Pro Plan
DiGiorno
Starbucks Coffee at Home


Cargill:

Ambrosia Chocolate
Gerkens Cocoa
Merckens A Rainbow of Possibilities
Peter’s Chocolate
Wilbur

Hopefully this helps for anyone who actually cares about this issue. The fact that slavery hasn’t ended in 2021 makes my blood boil.

Some positive vibes came my way, but…

I can’t say I’m genuinely happy most of the time, but it did happen. It felt great when people have been encouraged by me in an unexpected way. It was also great being encouraged by some people that I know.

This was all fine and good, but I haven’t been too creative besides my poems on here. Part of me feels like I’m being lazy of sorts given the original concept of this blog. I won’t be posting as often on this blog, but maybe once or twice a week. We’ll see what happens.

Being creative is really hard especially when it’s the Ospreyshire-type of creativity. Mine isn’t better than anyone’s, but it is very different.

Wode Maya visits Somaliland

Wode Maya makes such great travel vlogs and he has really opened my eyes when it comes to showing Africa. Not too long ago, he went to Somaliland of all places. Not Somalia (despite this area being inside the mainland), but Somaliland. This non-recognized country is apparently very stable and safe to visit. I’ve heard of the name before in passing from different videos I’ve watched, but I was unaware of what it looked like. Not going to lie, I thought it would be super chaotic and dangerous given the grave issues with pirates, crime, and terrorism like mainland Somalia, but apparently this piece of land doesn’t have those problems. Seeing the money exchange guy leaving to go pray and coming back to see his wares untouched was mind blowing. You couldn’t even do that in an American suburb, for crying out loud (relax, I would never try to steal someone’s stuff). It was fascinating seeing this part of Africa that you never see in the media and Wode Maya’s adventures really show. He has other videos with him talking to locals and businessmen which I also recommend seeing.

I just needed to see something positive for my own mental health and I hope you enjoy this video, too.

A baby’s face was lacerated during a C-section. THIS. IS. HORRIFIC!

My body shook when I found out about this story and I HAVE to talk about this. A baby named Kyanna Williams in Denver had her face cut during a C-section and is forced to have a plastic surgeon to make 13 stitches to the poor girl’s face to hopefully help with the healing. Granted, I’m no parent or medical expert, but I’m beyond furious hearing this. Apparently, there’s a 0.7% chance of a C-section baby getting a laceration which I wouldn’t have guessed, but that still doesn’t excuse these doctors. I’m glad the family is suing because this is a slam dunk malpractice case and potential attempted infanticide there. First, I hear about the 6-year old Coby Daniels getting shot in Ypsilanti, and now THIS?!? Much like what Phil said, if I found out my newborn child was cut or harmed during birth by the doctors or other medical personnel, I would end up in jail! I hope the family gets justice and for Kyanna’s face to fully heal since SHE DID NOT DESERVE THIS!

If you’re interested in helping out the family, then you can donate over here: https://www.gofundme.com/f/williamsdavis-family

Zimbabwe, don’t turn your country into Rhodesia 2.0 even if the colonizer is of a different race

I found out about this story not long after this video was first uploaded and I was seething with rage. Apparently, this Chinese company has been enslaving Zimbabweans and doing all types of cruel things to the Africans in that country. This is just sick. In the thumbnail, you could see them moving sick women with a FORKLIFT and not stretchers. There is a chemical used that’s been knocking out the women workers which is dangerous as well as very suspicious. I seriously hope they aren’t taking sexual advantage of them. Thankfully, the workers have spoken up and collecting receipts of these gross violations. I hope these devils get jail time. You don’t see Africans enslaving Chinese people, much less the Asian community, and this needs to be stopped.

I just had to talk about this issue with how infuriated I was with this news story. Why isn’t this hitting worldwide news channels? Oh, I have a few guesses why. I felt compelled to share this with everyone.