Defensive For What

People took my trust for granted
Pardon me for asking questions about your intent
I want to make sure you’re not an enemy of mine
I don’t want to make them, but I must defend myself
The years of people claiming I’m over-analyzing or reading too much into others
Has made me weary
I learned the hard way that not everyone will be my friend
No matter how kind and genuine I am
(saying nothing about how jerks seem to get their way all the time)
It’s my way of vetting others because I want to know
Whether I should be defensive around you or not

9 thoughts on “Defensive For What

  1. Curtis, I hear ya. You are entitled to you your thoughts and feelings.

    It no longer matters what “they” think. I know what I feel and what I see. You don’t need “their” approval and you don’t need to defend your thoughts to them.

    I’m getting back to my roots and it feels great.

    Liked by 1 person

      • I plan to do a 5k next week. The race is raise scholarship money for kids. However there was a lack of diversity (no token Black) in the images except one kid who might have been Latino. So I’m waiting to find out if the Black kids are eligible for the scholarship. If I’m gonna put time into something it has to benefit me and people who look like me.

        Liked by 1 person

      • That’s awesome! I hope you do well on the race and that people raise money for these scholarships. What I also hope is that Black people can get the scholarship money, too. You can raise that issue and see if that’s possible. If not, then you can try something to benefit like some grants or possibly making an alternative charity event. Totally understandable that you feel that way about those charities.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I really wanted to know how many children of color receive scholarships from the fund if I’m gonna help fundraise.

        These are things Black people can do to help our communities. We may not get the financial support like white people but we learned a long time ago to make do on little.

        My problem is I’m not young and I need Black people who are as passionate as I am about helping other Black people as well as love to write.

        Imagine a fundraiser to jumpstart the end of mass incarceration of Black children. Or a fundraising to create a public defense fund for those who drive while Black.

        Liked by 1 person

      • That’s certainly a reasonable thing to investigate. I would’ve done the same, too.

        I certainly agree. Even I’m surprised what I can do with a shoestring budget at best. Going slightly off topic: There’s actually a group of teenage Nigerian filmmakers who have been making sci-fi flicks with just cell phones and you wouldn’t be able to tell: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UComu3ao5983Wpni7R_JcovQ/videos

        I see. I certainly like writing and I want to see people in our community do well with that talent and others in creative or expressive endeavors.

        That would be amazing, Angela!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Perhaps I’m mysterious in a good way? I got the Mystery Blogger Award! | Ospreyshire's Realm

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