Some various thoughts I’ve been having recently

It has been a crazy busy few weeks. There’s been work and me participating in NaNoWriMo. Of course…there’s been everything else going on in the world especially in America.

Relax, I won’t be talking about anything partisan let alone anything political in this post. I can hear the collective sigh of relief no matter if one is to the left, right, center, independent, or apolitical. With that said, I still have been thinking about serious things nonetheless.

In addition to work and writing another book, I have been having thoughts of so many things going on in my life.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been bullied in my life and at times it was quite severe. In hindsight, some of it was very low-key that psychologically affected me. When I would fight back, I would be treated like the bad guy even though I wasn’t being physical against anyone or insulting them. It made me wonder how docile I was while abusive people get away with everything even when I would call them out on their crap. It’s no wonder I can’t stand those who hurt others with impunity as well as never owning up to their misdeeds. I’ve had to own up to my mistakes and sins, so why couldn’t they? It’s like I’ve been getting bad advice for years from people who should know better. Part of me wondered if I should’ve improved in snappy comebacks or insulting people because I’ve always struggled in that regard. It’s sick how I felt like I wasn’t “allowed” to stand up for myself.

There are times where I wonder if it was worth having certain kinds of dreams and goals. I’m sure I mentioned this in a post earlier this year about random goals I used to have like owning a record label, voice acting, or being a touring musician, etc. I guess with COVID, in a weird way, I’m relieved that i didn’t go forward with those pipe dreams. My goals have changed like getting more into writing as well as videography. I have those skills and it allows me to put them to use. There are other ideas for goals that could be more constructive, but I wondered how possible they would be.

The last movie I saw was a documentary about the Congolese Genocide and Leopold II. It was so heartbreaking and it was one of those historical aspects I wish I learned when I was a lot younger regardless of my DNA results. I learned more things and I certainly was uncomfortable with the brutality. It angers me how Leopold never got punished for being responsible for several millions of people dying under his colonizing rule. It was a powerful watch and I think more people should learn about this atrocity.

Those were various thoughts I had recently. I just had to talk about it instead of just a poem or opinions on a news story. Sorry it wasn’t fun. I hope you understand.

10 thoughts on “Some various thoughts I’ve been having recently

  1. No need to apologise at all. As someone who was bullied himself and talked about it on my blog at various posts too, I can only say that I do know how you feel. At times those feelings come up again, and you think back on that past. This year especially is making things hard, and well not any easier, with feelings of loneliness taking over during many moments of the day. It’s very good to talk about it at times, so as I mentioned no need to apologise. Here’s something that might brighten your day though, as I put your blog (and 4 others) in the spotlight on my own blog!😊
    Take care, and hopefully brighter days will come soon enough!😀

    Liked by 1 person

      • Well, that’s human nature I guess😊 It happens quite a lot, and there are days I tend to do that myself as well, but luckily I try to remember that there is always a silver lining again at some point.
        You are welcome, I hope that you liked the write up I did for your blog, and that it has given you a few new followers, as your blog deserves it!😊

        Liked by 1 person

      • This comment disappeared in my spam folder which is so weird. Sorry about that.

        Anyways, it’s good you have that kind of optimism going on. I notice that a couple of the blogs got new followers as well as views. Thank you!

        Like

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