This topic has been on my mind for weeks. I know I wrote a poem based on that subject. Yes, I know there are worse issues going on right now in the world and this isn’t me ignoring them. Something about the concept of fandom shaming has grabbed my attention with how it affected me years ago. I’ve been fandom shamed for liking anime, independent music (sometimes for specific bands or singers), and even superheroes at one point like how I used to play HeroClix during my teens. I had the toughest time making counterarguments to the people who insulted me. Maybe this was me taking the high road or maybe I was so stupid and naive to have a comeback towards those fools. It also frustrated me when other people like other things, but never get insulted. I’m not just talking about “acceptable” fandoms like sports, shoes, cars, etc., but for certain bands/singers, movies, or games out there.
I have some questions for you because I feel like I’m the only person in the world who gets fandom shamed.
Have you ever been fandom shamed? If so, what was it for?
Have you ever fandom shamed someone? If so, what was it that the other person liked?
How do you deal with being fandom shamed if it happened to you?
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Ospreyshire's Realm 
I had an entire answer typed out, then my computer crashed
Due to not feeling like typing it out again…my simple answer is yes lol
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Sorry to hear that about the computer crashing. So you have been fandom shamed before? That’s a bummer. What were you fandom shamed about?
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Okay. It’s a new day, and my computer is acting normal lol so I’ll answer.
I’m not sure if it’s fandom shaming or just shaming in general for liking something, but I remember a cousin finding out that I like rap music (all of it), and then saying, “Kathy we need to acculturate you” in a joking/mocking tone. To which I replied, maybe YOU need to be acculturated!
I just remember being so mad at the thought of someone suggesting just because I like what I like, then something must be wrong with me.
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No problem. Good that the computer is better now.
Liking something can certainly count. Acculturating because of rap music? I’m not a fan of all rappers, but come on! That was a good comeback against your cousin. Haha! In your defense, I do hate how rap can get a bad rap (pun intended) because of whatever’s on the mainstream especially mumble rap. Not all of it is like that, but it takes effort to find rappers with conscious lyrics or at the very least have decent content.
I’ve had that thought before when people thought I was wrong even though what I liked wasn’t hurting anyone.
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I was, because god damn if you enjoy feminine-coded stuff xD There was a time where I felt the need to “make my case” or “defend” the things I loved, but I don’t have the energy anymore and it’s supposed to be about the joy I should get so I make sure, before anything else, that I’m enjoying it. I feel much better after letting go of trying hard and instead find small circles who more or less share my passion.
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I hard relate to having to defend and make my case the things I liked while others never had to (or at least I didn’t see it). Part of me wants to make others do the same if they have certain fandoms, but I haven’t had to do that. Most of the time I just agree to disagree if I don’t care that much. It’s cool that you’re letting go of those restrains and not being ashamed of what you like.
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Hey! There may be worse problems out there but they are waaaay beyond our control. Always cool to escape into other topics! 🙂
Question Answering:
1) Yep, I have been. I love the Final Fantasy XIII trilogy which many ‘veteran’ fans of the series seem to enjoy bashing.
2) Nope! I’ve always been of the opinion that we all like what we like. For example, I hate anime but I respect that other people who find joy in it. There is no “right” or “wrong” stance on fandoms, in my opinion. When I see other people force their opinions down other people’s throats… that’s when I get upset.
3) I ignore anyone who tries to shame me for the fandoms I like. They are clearly not my people so their opinion of me is irrelevant.
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I certainly agree. Sometimes other topics are necessary.
1) Sorry to hear that. I haven’t played the newer Final Fantasy games. The most recent one I played was Tactics Advance a long time ago. Yeah, I’m SOOOOOOOO out of date when it comes to video games. Hahahaha! 😛
2) That’s good. We can agree to disagree about anime even though I don’t talk about it often on this blog. Even then I mix it up with live action and documentary works on my other blog, but I digress. There are times where I talk about problematic things about certain media (although one movie has been a favorite target of mine), but I hope I haven’t come across as shoving opinions down people’s throats.
3) Good on you for doing that.
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I am very good at toning people out, so it does not bother me. For the rare times it does bother me I normally just think of my favorite scenes.
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That’s good. I wish I was better at doing that instead of internalizing things. I felt like I had to defend or explain why I like certain things while my peers never had to do so.
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This is something that for me at least, got easier the older I got. I’ve always loved science fiction/fantasy, but back in the 1970s and 1980s, in the farming community where I grew up, that caused a lot of raised eyebrows. Some people tried to hassle me about it, and it bothered me. But don’t recall trying to defend my self.
I’ve come to suspect that my experience isn’t typical. Even in junior high, was was over six feet tall. I grew up on a farm, so I basically lifted weights every day. Only a handful of people tried to bully me, and I’m afraid how hard I laughed at them might have hurt their feelings.
But that just meant they learned to lower the intensity of their scorn. They still got their point across, but they had to do it from a distance. It bothered me, though, because it made no sense to me. What did it matter to them if I liked, say, Star Trek and collected Star Trek books? I mean, some of them could recite stats about their favorite football players. Whether they realized it or not, the two fandoms were equivalent.
The older I got, the more that understand took hold. Until recently, in fact, the sympathy I felt for their self-imposed limited horizons off-set the annoyance or hurt I felt at their scorn.
The current political mood in the US has changed the equation. I’m still working through that, because the same people that now clamor to restrict voting rights and want to, in effect, overturn the will of the people were the same people who hassled me about liking science fiction.
Coincidence? I don’t think so…
So, to answer your questions:
Have you ever been fandom shamed? If so, what was it for? Yes — for pretty much everything I’ve ever enjoyed!
Have you ever fandom shamed someone? If so, what was it that the other person liked? No — I just don’t have the heart to do that. I’ve come close. There are some sub-genres of hentai that kinda make my hair stand on end. But even then, I have to be honest with myself: Fiction’s fiction, and I really think people should be free to like what they want. I’d hate to have to level a charge of hypocrisy against myself!
How do you deal with being fandom shamed if it happened to you? I used to feel such sympathy for people for limiting their own potential that it off-set the anger and frustration I felt. That got easier as I got older. It’s especially easy when realize that their opinions, in the final analysis, mean precisely zero.
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It’s good how this got easier for you appreciating the things you like as you got older. I’m sorry to hear that you got hassled for liking sci-fi and fantasy, but goof on you for noth having those aspects bother you.
Dang! I didn’t get to the six foot range until I was in high school. I was average height for most of my adolescence before getting taller quickly in my mid-to-late teens. Granted, I had and still have a slim build. You were concerned about hurting others’ feelings when you laughed at them? I wondered if I hurt other peoples’ feelings even though I wasn’t good at insults.
Great points about Star Trek and sports. Especially with other parts of the fandom like fantasy sports which is Dungeons & Dragons for jocks if you really think about it.
Is that so? I wish I had that kind of sympathy for those who aren’t familiar with things I like.
No disagreements there about the current political climate in America. Even if one isn’t talking about politics, topics can be politicized and especially dichotomous logic (either you like this or you like that!). That’s not surprising about your observations with voter restriction votes and being shamed.
Re: Your Answers…
Everything you’ve ever enjoyed? Dang! I guess we’re alike in that regard.
I see. In a way that’s good you haven’t. I’ve been tempted and gotten close to do so with some other bloggers. Before that, I couldn’t find any legitimate arguments or found weaknesses in theirs. I certainly wouldn’t want to be a hypocrite myself though.
Gotcha. I’ll have to think about what you said.
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