A lot of stress has been building up over the past couple of weeks. I’ve been working a lot, but I’ve had little time to decompress. I had feelings of depression and anxiety a ton recently. While it was good seeing some encouraging messages from people for situations irrelevant to my blog for different reasons, I still feel like I’m just a failure. My content on here hasn’t been up to par, I am struggling with material on here, and I think a ton of my projects are just going to be doomed to fail. Sometimes I wonder why I even both with this kind of stuff on here. I’ve also been angry as I realize how much more I’ve been manipulated and gaslighted. Being silenced all this time has enraged me and I realized that not everything was my fault or I wasn’t wrong all the time. It sickens me how people want to cling onto toxic positivity and ignore reality. It was like I wasn’t allowed to have an opinion or to speak truth to others. I wondered if others got or still get uncomfortable when I mention some of these things that aren’t popular or positive. Someone like me doesn’t have the privilege for that kind of convenience. That’s not even getting into the deluge of hypocrisy I’m seeing both offline and online from various people or some random things I managed to catch on TV. It is beyond frustrating seeing people get away with crap that is wrong as well as something I would NEVER get a free pass for if I was a jerk or straight up heinous. I don’t want to pretend that everything is alright because I’m struggling with my mental health. I don’t know how consistent I will be with posting things on this blog. Don’t get it twisted. I’m not asking for sympathy or fishing for compliments. I just had to get some of these emotions out of my chest. God, I feel like damaged goods.