A Post Where I Verbally Bash Myself

Why do I even bother doing these things?

If I didn’t think I was a pathetic individual for most of my life, I would be doing so much better with everything I try.

My creativity is overrated at best and whatever I create is just going to be bashed and mocked.

Why bother working as hard as you can when it doesn’t play out well?

Maybe I should just shut up more often even though I’m quiet in my offline life most of the time. Why not? It seems like everyone is allowed to speak up about different topics and concerns except me! HAHAHAHAHA! Wow, it seems like I’m always wrong no matter how hard I research things or doing my best to provide some semblance of logic.

It would be cool if I had better interests that I don’t feel so obligated to defend like obscure films, geography, or something random like indie BritWres or Caribbean cricket. I don’t know that many people that were bullied that much for what they liked.

Me mentioning important news? HA! I do care about these stories, so don’t get it twisted, but I wonder how many others care like I do. Maybe I just care too much for my own good. God forbid I want to see people treated like humans for once or for there to be equality.

I guess I’m just more frustrated than I thought. I could still be posting whenever I can, but it’s tough to increase my own self-esteem lest I be accused of being *GASP!* arrogant. Then again, it seems OTHER people can straight-up brag about themselves, but they get the benefit of “backing it up” or “they’re egotistical, but they have a point”!

People have no standards and force their lies onto me. Shame on me for believing in their psychological abuse especially with the gaslighting and downplaying of various facts.