To those who do creative things no matter the art form and are good human beings, I do support them whenever I can. This could be buying some of their stuff and promoting them to others. I want those people to succeed in their fields. They deserve to live out their dreams. I wonder if I have earned that right, yet. It doesn’t help I haven’t been that creative this year.
It’s been 4 weeks since I posted anything on this blog.
November has been an insanely busy month with life’s ups and downs. There’s work, my mental health taking a toll at times, and I didn’t do anything creative. I’ve been internalizing a ton of stress, depression, and anger about different things. More lies have been exposed in my life and I’m still adjusting to different realities whether they involve me or not. There are so many hypocrites and I want to do my best to combat these double standards. I should’ve been stronger. I should’ve been more cognizant. I should’ve been better at finding whatever confidence I have (or what’s left of it) when others don’t get undermined like I have been. How I will progress with my creative works remains to be seen.
I will be erratic in posting until I can get certain things in order.
P. S. Thank God those devils got convicted for killing Ahmaud Arbery. It’s a shame that they would’ve gotten away with it had those atrocities not have been filmed.
A lot of stress has been building up over the past couple of weeks. I’ve been working a lot, but I’ve had little time to decompress. I had feelings of depression and anxiety a ton recently. While it was good seeing some encouraging messages from people for situations irrelevant to my blog for different reasons, I still feel like I’m just a failure. My content on here hasn’t been up to par, I am struggling with material on here, and I think a ton of my projects are just going to be doomed to fail. Sometimes I wonder why I even both with this kind of stuff on here. I’ve also been angry as I realize how much more I’ve been manipulated and gaslighted. Being silenced all this time has enraged me and I realized that not everything was my fault or I wasn’t wrong all the time. It sickens me how people want to cling onto toxic positivity and ignore reality. It was like I wasn’t allowed to have an opinion or to speak truth to others. I wondered if others got or still get uncomfortable when I mention some of these things that aren’t popular or positive. Someone like me doesn’t have the privilege for that kind of convenience. That’s not even getting into the deluge of hypocrisy I’m seeing both offline and online from various people or some random things I managed to catch on TV. It is beyond frustrating seeing people get away with crap that is wrong as well as something I would NEVER get a free pass for if I was a jerk or straight up heinous. I don’t want to pretend that everything is alright because I’m struggling with my mental health. I don’t know how consistent I will be with posting things on this blog. Don’t get it twisted. I’m not asking for sympathy or fishing for compliments. I just had to get some of these emotions out of my chest. God, I feel like damaged goods.
I know I haven’t posted as frequently as I typically do, but I wanted to share some information.
Some of you know about the story of the baby Kyanni Williams who got a massive scar on her face after being born during an emergency C-section which was horrific. It’s healing up more, but it is still visible. Her family has a GoFundMe page to cover legal and medical costs and they just surpassed their goal of $10000. This is good news for them and I hope people can keep donating to that cause because no baby deserves to be born like that. I hope the Williams family can sue the doctors and be able to take any medical steps necessary to make sure that their little baby’s face is fully recovered.
This is something completely different, but I’m happy that my dad is another year older. He’s been a great parent for me and I’m glad to have the opportunity to celebrate his special day. Happy Birthday, Dad! May you have a very blessed day today!
This topic has been on my mind for weeks. I know I wrote a poem based on that subject. Yes, I know there are worse issues going on right now in the world and this isn’t me ignoring them. Something about the concept of fandom shaming has grabbed my attention with how it affected me years ago. I’ve been fandom shamed for liking anime, independent music (sometimes for specific bands or singers), and even superheroes at one point like how I used to play HeroClix during my teens. I had the toughest time making counterarguments to the people who insulted me. Maybe this was me taking the high road or maybe I was so stupid and naive to have a comeback towards those fools. It also frustrated me when other people like other things, but never get insulted. I’m not just talking about “acceptable” fandoms like sports, shoes, cars, etc., but for certain bands/singers, movies, or games out there.
I have some questions for you because I feel like I’m the only person in the world who gets fandom shamed.
Have you ever been fandom shamed? If so, what was it for?
Have you ever fandom shamed someone? If so, what was it that the other person liked?
How do you deal with being fandom shamed if it happened to you?
April has been insanely busy for me, but I’m back here. I hope you’re all doing alright.
This was a productive month for me, but at the same time I was trying to deal with things involving my own mental well-being especially as more revelations came to me unexpectedly after doing some learning that indirectly affected me (it’s a really long story).
I was focused on certain things and the big one is Camp NaNoWriMo which I completed the word count earlier this week which was good. The other creative things I did were on hold because that takes a ton of dedication.
There were some peaks and valleys over the month which I dealt with. Some good things happened and some infuriating things happened. Sometimes it did get a bit isolating, but it’s 2021 so I think people are used to it by now given last year obviously. However, it was good hearing from people I know online as well as some other bloggers I follow. It was also cool getting exposed to new international films, listening to some international music, and even checking out some fun travel vlogs including one from a country I would’ve never expected from despite never traveling at all recently due to COVID-world.
Of course, that’s not going into the real life current events because I would’ve had so much to say and I was trying not to make my blood boil hearing some of these things. I don’t have to go into too much detail with the things that got a ton of attention or the ones more obscured from both a local and an international standpoint. Well, at least I can say that more people are becoming aware and there’s actually some semblance of accountability going on.
Anyways, sorry for rambling a bit. Sorry I don’t have the typical poems or creative works over here. Hope you’re all safe and well.
Happy blogiversary to me!
I have been dealing with a lot of stuff from work as well as trying deal with negative emotions going on, so this was a good thing that put a smile on my face. I forgot I started this blog this time 4 years ago right before I released my first Ospreyshire EP back then. Of course, everything snowballed into making more blogs with different subjects. I met some fantastic bloggers along the way off all interests, ethnic groups, creeds, and walks of life which has been great. I’ve had powerful conversations, had fun posting comments, providing content on my blogs, and others things. Sure, I’ve had my ups and downs these past 4 years (truth be told, I’m still dealing with some of my own issues), but seeing some constant support did give me some hope. Some of you were friends to me when I didn’t talk to anyone.
Thank you for being a part of this creative journey with blogging, music, poetry, opinions, art, and other things.
I’m almost there to finish this full-length album.
I’m recording the fourth-to-last song on this project and it has been fun. Singing in Swahili and Japanese for that song was really exhilarating (most of that song is in English though). Adding as many musical elements has been a worthy challenge which is the opposite of my more minimalist approach. The other songs I worked on were and acapella track and a bit of a psychedelic spoken word number. I’m really looking forward to completing this gigantic album of sorts. There’s going to be over 40 songs confirmed for it. Just sayin’.
I guess putting in that blogging work on this page has done something right. After almost 3 years of existence, I now have over 6000 views on Ospreyshire’s Realm! This year, I’ve gotten a lot better at posting more consistently and on a schedule most of the time. I can see how that is working. I also feel that people care more about my music which was the main reason why this blog existed to begin with, my poetry has been getting attention, and others have been responding to whatever news story or opinion piece I’ve been posting on here. This year, some of my opinion pieces have been the most honest and hard-hitting. It’s a miracle bloggers want to check out my works.
Thank you for following me on this blogging journey!