Ascending Visions

Frequencies had tiers

This was new to me

Falsehoods plagued me even when I didn’t see it

Like a subtle poison, I couldn’t taste the venom until it was too late

I bonded with my abusers

And didn’t know it happened

Because not all mistreatment was physical

Psychological chattel…

I thought you only needed chains to remain captive

What a gigantic way to stand corrected

I wanted to go beyond these invisible barriers

As I overlooked catacombs full of visions

Something happened to me and I didn’t know it all this time

Shame on me for believing that good conquers evil all the time

While I have a tall stature, I was still far too small

To make real change

As I was called a liar despite telling the truth

I was called an instigator despite being on the defense

Everything was my fault whether I did anything or not

I was ever the scapegoat for others while others were too childish to accept their wrongdoing

Was it a miracle that I didn’t hate humanity as a whole even with all the things I’ve learned and experienced?

I guess some hope lies within

Avoiding misanthropy

The ascension of frequencies appeared once more

Waves on waves show up to the cumulonimbus shores before crashing down to terra firma

Wash away my impurities…

I Wish I Was Never A Defeatist (At Least I’m Honest About That Flaw)

There are times where I wish I took a psychology course

To realize how much my psyche has been abused in ways I never knew how or why from subtle forms

The hobbies I like(d) became objects of ridicule

Social awkwardness manifested in itself

My heritage also made me something to hate regardless of my character

Apologies were spoken ad nauseum for who I was

As if my mind wasn’t flawed enough

So many things forced me to be an autodidact

“Why even bother?” I would say or think

“I know I’m going to lose anyway.”

Stop it, brain.

“It’s always the biggest jerks who get what they want. You need to be cruel to be on top even though you’ll never get away with it.”

That didn’t come from my mind this time. It was bad advice. Get thee behind me…

“Try reprogramming yourself. They think you’re a stupid robot anyway. You’re just a useless piece of –“

SHUT UP!

The violation of my self-esteem affected me way more than I thought. Shame how any affirmative thing I say about myself can be construed as an ego.

All I do was lose, lose, lose, no matter what as I try to squeak out a semblance of a victory.

Morose Permeation

All it took was a revealed cover-up and one Tartaros of a sellout

The Bluegrass State never saw such a miscarriage

The ire magnified across the country

Was $12 million really enough for them in dealing with Breonna Taylor’s death?

Tell me if Justine Damond’s family got the same treatment

The insanity in this country wouldn’t stop there

There wasn’t a debate, but a yelling match between the two

Even pro wrestling promos had more sense and civility than that gaffe

Dog whistles and lack of policy questions were all it was about

Next thing, I know one was tested positive

But I thought it would just go away or possibly a hoax, right? (sarcasm)

These events indirectly added to the frustration

All I could see was a hopeless future

The lack of responsibility and equality was enough to darken my soul

My mind could only ruminate and catastrophize

I really am pathetic, aren’t I?

No matter how productive I am, I only saw bleak things

A Poetic Post About the State of the Blog At the Moment

My life has certainly been productive for better or worse

Unfortunately, life can get incredibly busy for me at two different salt mines

While this isn’t running away, my house needs to be in order

Don’t expect this avant-garde osprey to fly away

Just expect one day instead of three

Sorry, everyone

I will still put effort in whatever I do

My blog means a lot and I have things planned here as well as my other pages

Just be assured that when there will be posts, they will (hopefully) be worth your time

Protagonist Centered Morality In Real Life

I don’t know what is considered heroic in society anymore.

While I wouldn’t call myself the greatest moral guardian since I’ve fallen short, I would never get away with the things (let alone act on them) so many others would.

The innocent get slaughtered while the guilty are extolled.

The rules are goalposts moved whenever convenient.

They think that some petty reforms or cashing out millions would be enough.

What an insulting consolation prize.

I guess things are only evil when it’s not their “side” doing it much like the so-called protagonists having carte-blanche to do villainous things.

I could make a laundry list of fake fictional heroes gunning unarmed women, abusing children, committing genocide by starvation, or even eating other characters, but we’d be here all day.

Regardless of one’s opinions about scripture, Isaiah said it best.

“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil.”

There is truth as these double standards are shown.

Shame how everyone thinks they’re the protagonist in their own story.

Untitled Free Verse Poem

Sometimes the greatest battles don’t happen with swords, fists, or other weapons

It happens in the mind

Invading thoughts occur without warning

Malevolent clocks running backwards and looped footage

Become scourges

There was no control to rewind everything to one’s wants

20/20 hindsight makes the slights into mountains

There needed to be no debilitation as it’s happened before

It had to start with resolve and telling the invaders to be expelled

All those times were uphill battles

Tranquility in the Rain

As my head hits the pillow, I hear the symphony of raindrops

Landing on the roof

After several days without the skies pouring down, it was a welcome change of tune

I imagined each drop being an agent in purifying me despite being inside

Washing away the negativity as well as clearing my mind of such was something I wished would happen

There was something so calming hearing the rain landing on the ground

Yearning for a Better Future

I wondered if my efforts would amount for something bright

Not to be a millionaire or famous, but just something where I can prosper

This year, I certainly had my concerns and fears with the obvious

I’d be lying if I said I had none of those things

Everyone certainly is stressed at different levels, and I don’t blame them

Work, some classes, and my own independent studies gave me things to do

Okay, I do enjoy international films, but binge watching wasn’t a top goal

Sometimes I wonder if I’d be doing things on a bigger stage with my creative works

Not world tours or TV interviews, obviously

But something constructive as well as being able to help others

I don’t know what the future looks like, but I want to do what I can to make sure it’s good