2023 Thoughts

I haven’t posted on here that much. I feel this specific blog has been all over the place and doesn’t have an identity anymore, but you already knew. That. It’s time I need to find a reason for this blog to be better and to retool whatever creative stuff I do. Don’t expect too many posts until I figure stuff out.

For something more positive, I’m going to wonder if this whole “manifestation” thing actually works and mention some hopes I have for this year. I want to work on these things for stuff I can control.

-Get fluent in two languages besides English. I want to be able to have conversations in other languages.

-Travel at least once this year (I haven’t been traveling since COVID).

-Work on several creative projects in multiple fields that I won’t say what they’re about now.

-Check out live events based on some of my hobbies/interests, such as a Windies game and/or an indie BritWres show.

For things I don’t have control over, I hope these things can happen.

-People taking me seriously with my skills, talents, and intelligence (not that I’m a genius or close to it).

-Being successful with the creative works that I make.

-Others not being able to counter-attack any arguments I make because everything is well-constructed and watertight, especially when it comes to antecedents in culture and source material.

-Any information I find out and bring up to people is able to change minds for the better.

-I hope those who have screwed me over and gaslighted me are forced to apologize to me and own up to their wrongdoings for what they did.

-In my personal life, I will drastically progress in my skills, and I’m seen as someone who’s an excellent team member where I’m at right now in life.

Those are the positive examples I can think of. Maybe I can make another post about other hopes, but this will involve venting.

Random words you didn’t know had origins in African languages

My life has been very busy, but I thought I would squeeze in a little post of educational variety if any of you care. I find it interesting to find various etymologies and I want to be good at other languages besides English. You’d be surprised by some origins used in English alone.

Goober: It comes from the Kikongo word “Nguba” which means peanut.

Tango: You thought that was a Spanish word? Nope! It’s literally the Lingala and Kikongo word for “time”. When the slaves were in Argentina and Uruguay, some of them were from the Congo and remembered some of their musical and dance traditions. Those moments would be addressed as “Kongo ya tango” which means Congo time in those languages.

Safari: It’s not just about a specific kind of tourism or environment. That comes from the Swahili word for “travel”.

Voodoo: That form of magic is an Anglicized version of the Ewe (pronounced Ye-we, a language spoken in Togo, Benin, and some parts of Ghana) word Vodo which means “spirit” or “ghost”.

Okra: That food comes from the Igbo word Okuru.

Jenga: I’m sure you all have played that game with the wooden blocks at some point, right? The name of the game comes from “Kujenga” which means “to build” in Swahili. I legitimately didn’t know that until weeks ago!

See, I don’t always have angry posts as of recently.

Posting won’t be as frequent

Sorry. I hope to at least post something once a week, but I can’t promise on what day given my new schedule and how busy I am in my offline life now. It has been a positive change, but it’s something that has been taking more of my time. I do have a lot of stuff to rant about, but it’s not the time to do so. Sigh…it feels like even when something good happens to me, I still see the negatives in everything else…

Pondering my own opinions and observations

I had been thinking a lot today and I’m trying not to give into an old habit of caring (too much) about what other people think of me or what I say. Sometimes I wonder if the things I post have some kind of important impact on people. Sure, I get some likes and positive comments here and there which is cool, but there are times when I wonder if people are either trying to be nice or badmouthing me behind my back (figuratively and/or literally whether offline or online). I’ve actually been surprised that I haven’t had certain reactions whenever I talk about severe subjects or have controversial insights on society or forms of entertainment. Yes, I am aware that I have gotten a certain reputation when it comes to my thoughts on various movies and anime series, but I won’t be going there in that post. I have to do my best to stick to my guns, especially when I know I’m right or when I can back up the opinions I have with evidence and logic.

Have any of you had those thoughts before on your blog like when you get specific comments or get attention for certain posts you’ve typed?

Can’t You Tell I’ve Been Very Frustrated Since Blogging Again On Here?

Maybe I’m just too angry to do something creative on here. Wow, what a massive divergence from the original intent of the blog, right?

There have been too many stories that make my blood boil (the Carolyn Bryant one was a major example, as you know). I keep on seeing people giving passes to various individuals and companies when they clearly don’t deserve it. The trademark game has become maddening when I found out months ago that the word “Juneteenth” got trademarked with that now-discontinued Wal-Mart ice cream flavor. It seems like everyone wants to appropriate Africa and the diaspora at large with the culture, ethnic groups, and languages. I don’t want to come off as shallow to the point where I would feel awkward talking about positive things or stuff that I like on here. Oh…this is the internet. It’s where people bash everyone for daring to like something unless you have “protected interests” and hobbies like mainstream sports or Disney. God forbid you question anything, yeah?

I really need to do better with posting good content even if I’m raising awareness about certain issues. Life is maddening.

A Long-Delayed Rant About Someone

Apologies for not having a meaningful post like what I’ve been having recently, but I have to get something off my chest.

I made a short thing in passing among other subjects in a post long ago, but I need to vent about someone online who shall remain nameless.

I’m sorry for trying to relate to you and some of the struggles that you’ve mentioned (especially with being literal vs. being sarcastic or some mental health issues). I’m sorry for enjoying some of your posts about different topics to name a few. It’s insulting that you have cussed me out in one comment or think I’m somehow wrong with whatever I believe or think about. Just because something isn’t your reality doesn’t mean it isn’t someone else’s. I hated how you gaslighted me and downplayed my personal experiences. You have some nerve only caring about issues that affect you just so you could retain some (toxic/delusional) optimism. How selfish and narcissistic of you. Let’s take your words and logic to their logical extreme. Let’s say (this is a hypothetical situation I clearly wouldn’t wish on ANYONE) that some melanated individuals who happen to be on the Autism spectrum are abused or killed in a hate crime. If that happened, you wouldn’t give a crap unless they looked like you or your family members. Don’t lie to me. You know I’m right. I know you’ve praised one abuser and made an excuse for not knowing her that much except for a role in a certain superhero movie. Would you say that if that person was a man? I have never disrespected or trolled you, yet you got big mad when I made a comment that wasn’t about you to begin with about how some of the same people who tell me not to overanalyze fiction’s implications are the same ones who will defend any kind of bigotry or abusers out there. I thought it possibly went into spam or I forgot to hit “enter” at first, but I didn’t know you deleted it until you ranted after the fact. I wasn’t talking about you, but your actions proved me right and you became EXACTLY like the people who have psychologically manipulated and BULLIED me! You know what they say…The guilty dog will bark first and loudest if you pardon the slight twist to that saying. I guess separating the art and artist is your free get-out-of-jail card for people you like who do or say bad things. I wasn’t even attacking you this whole time and I’m tired of you being superficial. Don’t even use your mental or emotional health as carte blanche to be disrespectful because I never had that excuse despite having actual neurological issues. If I wanted to diss you to kingdom come, I’d be a lot more vindictive, but you better thank whatever god you believe in (but if you’re agnostic or atheist, I won’t judge you if that’s the case) that I suck at insulting or bullying people. You should also be thankful that I’m not some troll who is confrontational to everyone even if I have controversial opinions. I’m no saint, but don’t act like you’re an innocent victim when you’re more offended by me mentioning my experiences of being bullied, victimized because of my ethnic heritage (something you will NEVER experience in your freaking life!), or talking about horrible things involving popular media than more severe forms of injustice just because they never happened to you!

I never insulted you, yet you’ve treated me like garbage just because what I’ve said doesn’t fit your narrative even when I wasn’t talking about you. I hope you get a moment of clarity where you realize what you did and said was wrong. It’s a slim chance that will happen, but I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive you unless you have a sincere apology for me. Shame I’m not used to seeing people actually owning up to THEIR misdeeds.