Posting won’t be as frequent

Sorry. I hope to at least post something once a week, but I can’t promise on what day given my new schedule and how busy I am in my offline life now. It has been a positive change, but it’s something that has been taking more of my time. I do have a lot of stuff to rant about, but it’s not the time to do so. Sigh…it feels like even when something good happens to me, I still see the negatives in everything else…

Pondering my own opinions and observations

I had been thinking a lot today and I’m trying not to give into an old habit of caring (too much) about what other people think of me or what I say. Sometimes I wonder if the things I post have some kind of important impact on people. Sure, I get some likes and positive comments here and there which is cool, but there are times when I wonder if people are either trying to be nice or badmouthing me behind my back (figuratively and/or literally whether offline or online). I’ve actually been surprised that I haven’t had certain reactions whenever I talk about severe subjects or have controversial insights on society or forms of entertainment. Yes, I am aware that I have gotten a certain reputation when it comes to my thoughts on various movies and anime series, but I won’t be going there in that post. I have to do my best to stick to my guns, especially when I know I’m right or when I can back up the opinions I have with evidence and logic.

Have any of you had those thoughts before on your blog like when you get specific comments or get attention for certain posts you’ve typed?

Can’t You Tell I’ve Been Very Frustrated Since Blogging Again On Here?

Maybe I’m just too angry to do something creative on here. Wow, what a massive divergence from the original intent of the blog, right?

There have been too many stories that make my blood boil (the Carolyn Bryant one was a major example, as you know). I keep on seeing people giving passes to various individuals and companies when they clearly don’t deserve it. The trademark game has become maddening when I found out months ago that the word “Juneteenth” got trademarked with that now-discontinued Wal-Mart ice cream flavor. It seems like everyone wants to appropriate Africa and the diaspora at large with the culture, ethnic groups, and languages. I don’t want to come off as shallow to the point where I would feel awkward talking about positive things or stuff that I like on here. Oh…this is the internet. It’s where people bash everyone for daring to like something unless you have “protected interests” and hobbies like mainstream sports or Disney. God forbid you question anything, yeah?

I really need to do better with posting good content even if I’m raising awareness about certain issues. Life is maddening.

A Long-Delayed Rant About Someone

Apologies for not having a meaningful post like what I’ve been having recently, but I have to get something off my chest.

I made a short thing in passing among other subjects in a post long ago, but I need to vent about someone online who shall remain nameless.

I’m sorry for trying to relate to you and some of the struggles that you’ve mentioned (especially with being literal vs. being sarcastic or some mental health issues). I’m sorry for enjoying some of your posts about different topics to name a few. It’s insulting that you have cussed me out in one comment or think I’m somehow wrong with whatever I believe or think about. Just because something isn’t your reality doesn’t mean it isn’t someone else’s. I hated how you gaslighted me and downplayed my personal experiences. You have some nerve only caring about issues that affect you just so you could retain some (toxic/delusional) optimism. How selfish and narcissistic of you. Let’s take your words and logic to their logical extreme. Let’s say (this is a hypothetical situation I clearly wouldn’t wish on ANYONE) that some melanated individuals who happen to be on the Autism spectrum are abused or killed in a hate crime. If that happened, you wouldn’t give a crap unless they looked like you or your family members. Don’t lie to me. You know I’m right. I know you’ve praised one abuser and made an excuse for not knowing her that much except for a role in a certain superhero movie. Would you say that if that person was a man? I have never disrespected or trolled you, yet you got big mad when I made a comment that wasn’t about you to begin with about how some of the same people who tell me not to overanalyze fiction’s implications are the same ones who will defend any kind of bigotry or abusers out there. I thought it possibly went into spam or I forgot to hit “enter” at first, but I didn’t know you deleted it until you ranted after the fact. I wasn’t talking about you, but your actions proved me right and you became EXACTLY like the people who have psychologically manipulated and BULLIED me! You know what they say…The guilty dog will bark first and loudest if you pardon the slight twist to that saying. I guess separating the art and artist is your free get-out-of-jail card for people you like who do or say bad things. I wasn’t even attacking you this whole time and I’m tired of you being superficial. Don’t even use your mental or emotional health as carte blanche to be disrespectful because I never had that excuse despite having actual neurological issues. If I wanted to diss you to kingdom come, I’d be a lot more vindictive, but you better thank whatever god you believe in (but if you’re agnostic or atheist, I won’t judge you if that’s the case) that I suck at insulting or bullying people. You should also be thankful that I’m not some troll who is confrontational to everyone even if I have controversial opinions. I’m no saint, but don’t act like you’re an innocent victim when you’re more offended by me mentioning my experiences of being bullied, victimized because of my ethnic heritage (something you will NEVER experience in your freaking life!), or talking about horrible things involving popular media than more severe forms of injustice just because they never happened to you!

I never insulted you, yet you’ve treated me like garbage just because what I’ve said doesn’t fit your narrative even when I wasn’t talking about you. I hope you get a moment of clarity where you realize what you did and said was wrong. It’s a slim chance that will happen, but I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive you unless you have a sincere apology for me. Shame I’m not used to seeing people actually owning up to THEIR misdeeds.

A Post Where I Verbally Bash Myself

Why do I even bother doing these things?

If I didn’t think I was a pathetic individual for most of my life, I would be doing so much better with everything I try.

My creativity is overrated at best and whatever I create is just going to be bashed and mocked.

Why bother working as hard as you can when it doesn’t play out well?

Maybe I should just shut up more often even though I’m quiet in my offline life most of the time. Why not? It seems like everyone is allowed to speak up about different topics and concerns except me! HAHAHAHAHA! Wow, it seems like I’m always wrong no matter how hard I research things or doing my best to provide some semblance of logic.

It would be cool if I had better interests that I don’t feel so obligated to defend like obscure films, geography, or something random like indie BritWres or Caribbean cricket. I don’t know that many people that were bullied that much for what they liked.

Me mentioning important news? HA! I do care about these stories, so don’t get it twisted, but I wonder how many others care like I do. Maybe I just care too much for my own good. God forbid I want to see people treated like humans for once or for there to be equality.

I guess I’m just more frustrated than I thought. I could still be posting whenever I can, but it’s tough to increase my own self-esteem lest I be accused of being *GASP!* arrogant. Then again, it seems OTHER people can straight-up brag about themselves, but they get the benefit of “backing it up” or “they’re egotistical, but they have a point”!

People have no standards and force their lies onto me. Shame on me for believing in their psychological abuse especially with the gaslighting and downplaying of various facts.

A Microscopic Rant

It’s better to talk about current events and serious news.

Why bother doing anything else, especially in the creative category?

Come on, I have to find SOME way where I don’t feel like a worthless blogger, let alone a person!

I do care. I don’t want to be shallow.

When you’ve been pressured into being silent for so long, you have no choice but to unleash that emotion and speak up.

Well, apparently everyone else has an excuse to do so except me, but you didn’t hear that from yours truly.

Maybe in addition to talking about important things, perhaps calling people out could be in order?

Who cares if my content won’t be as entertaining as it used to be (the reasons why one would be entertained is irrelevant even though I’m sure people are talking crap about me in other places)? Nobody cares about anything else I do! Hahahahaha!!! XD

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Here’s a positive post. Today is my Mom’s birthday and I thought I would wish her well. I got to celebrate with her yesterday with my family and it was nice to be able to do that. I’m thankful to be her son and I’m glad she appreciated my gifts for her. I got her some Swazi handicrafts and jewelry which is all fair-trade, too. Happy Birthday, Mom!

So Called Cancel-able Music Opinions

So I was looking at Twitter the other day even though I don’t have an account, and apparently, some people have been making tweets with unpopular opinions that would supposedly get one “canceled”. Are people really getting canceled for having a contrary opinion? This isn’t about current events, news, or politics. These are people talking about music, movies, video games, sports, pro wrestling, fiction, etc. I didn’t know cancel culture went that far. I saw a thread involving these music hot takes and some of them were funny. Sorry, I have to do something humorous after having a lot of negative feelings about life and the world. I used to be a big music fan, but I have a love/hate relationship with music. Yes, I know the obvious irony of me posting a statement like that on this blog, but most of my most viewed content was anything but that, so I guess I’m proven right. I pity those who are music fans and musicians. Let’s have some fun despite my disdain towards so many facets of everything.

-Mae hasn’t released anything good after The Everglow.

-Beyonce is one of the most overrated singers of all time.

-I don’t understand the hate of Lucerin Blue.

-mewithoutYou make some unique music and I like their stuff, but their stans are obnoxious!

-The Last Poets>Several modern-day rappers

-Driver Eight is one of the most underrated indie rock bands from the 90s.

-These “Gangstas need love too” songs are the rap music equivalent of the hair metal ballads from the 80s. Ex: Most hit singles from Plies, Ja Rule, “Made to Love” by Lil Wayne, etc.

-Pop punk songs are 1st world problems in musical form. It’s also sad that there are bands in their 30s and 40s still rocking scene wear, singing about these whiny lyrics, and still sound like they haven’t hit puberty yet when they sing. SMH.

So what are your cancel-able music hot takes?