I get tired of being kind sometimes.

We now interrupt my typical Ospreyshire Origins posts involving the Dear Innovare…album for something different.

Before I get into this impromptu post, I want to say that I appreciate those who have recently followed my blog and who have been liking and/or commenting on my posts. I really appreciate it. I need to do something special after having over 300 followers on this blog. We’ll see.

Getting that out of the way, I’ve been getting frustrated at the moment. I will say that nothing drastic or dramatic has happened to me, so you all can calm down a bit. When I’m not working, editing my next books, reading other books, or reviewing movies or anime, I’ve been internalizing a lot of anger and frustration. It’s a bad habit of mine since I felt like I’ve never been “allowed” to express it for most of my life. How ironic. I’ve seen certain individuals have hissy fits, cluster F-bombs, and have shouting matches, yet nothing bad happens to them.

Normally, I do my best to be kind offline and online. Kindness is a virtue which I’m sure we can all agree on. However, I wish people wouldn’t mistake it for weakness. Unfortunately, I’ve been having a need to drop hard truths to others even though I’ve been wont to do that on here and other blogs. Other issues and having some realization about hard truths in life has caused me to be irate on the inside. I wish I could go back in time to change every mistake and even to counter against those who disrespected me. Shame how time machines don’t exist. There have been times where I’ve been proven right in hindsight about how people can do criminal behavior and are treated better than me or have sympathizers as I’ve done far less and people yell at me or treat me like garbage in the past.

I thought to myself. What if I got to be tougher and more abrasive against others if/when they deserve it?

I was never the bully since I was bullied a lot in my life. There have been times recently where I’ve given people the silent treatment if I don’t like them even if it is immature. I’ve also been researching ways to win arguments, so I can verbally bash others for their ignorance. There have even been moments of me shaming some bloggers just for liking a certain movie that won’t be mentioned here. I’ve been shamed for liking things, so I felt like I deserved to do the same to others. I was tired of being kind to those who didn’t deserve it.

Maybe this is some kind of evolution or maybe something is wrong with me that I’ve gotten to this point. Relax, I won’t be trolling others or bullying people. I’m not good enough at insults to do that. What I want to do is to tell truth and to be more honest with my thoughts with others.

It always seems like those who disrespect me always get what they want. [sigh] I wish I didn’t have to feel this way. I can’t lie to anyone on here or my other blogs.

Ospreyshire Origins: Lifeblood: Monologue

Lyrics:

A World War and racial segregation
Wasn’t going to stop me from saving lives
Soldiers were dying
I knew how to innovate in times like these
And even my enemies at home had to bank on it

Every type was given to me to save lives
I chilled the sources and stored them for emergencies
Next, came the samples as cargo on the go
To hospitals and beyond
15,000 in the UK alone
Better thank my inventions for saving their lives

Too bad my employer threw racist pseudoscience
As to who got transfusions or not
I would be cut off from this world
But my method of saving lives continues


Isn’t it a shame when people who literally save lives never get credit for their heroism? It’s no wonder why I have superhero fatigue since more people know who Iron Man, Superman, and Captain America are than this doctor. Like most of the people Dear Innovare focuses on, I didn’t know who Dr. Charles R. Drew was until long after I graduated from school (high school AND at the university level). Charles R. Drew invented the blood bank which continues to save lives through the process of blood transfusions. He came up with this concept during WWII and saved a ton of soldiers lives. Not only that, but he created the bloodmobile, so blood can be refrigerated and stored on the go to various hospitals or clinics. Unfortunately, there were racist idiots who denied the blood from black people even if it could save lives and Dr. Drew was disillusioned by this bigotry (he’s an African-American man, by the way). He died in a car crash at the age of 45 which is very tragic and not many people know his name. Don’t worry, Dr. Drew. I’ll make sure more people know who you are.

Side note: The title of the song is a reference to the Canadian band Lifestory: Monologue.

The image of Charles R. Drew is from Ferris State University.

Ospreyshire Origins: Lebombo

Lyrics:

[Zulu]
Sisungule ithuluzi elisha
Leli thambo lizosiza abantu ukutui bafunde izinombolo
Singabaqambi bethuluzi elisha

In ancient times at the continent’s Southern points in the mountain range
We told time, counted the days, and tracked the moon
All it took was a baboon fibula tally by tally
We taught our people from the highest to lowest veldts
At least 44,000 years ago
This wasn’t decoration
This was for education as the Originator blessed us and those up north for our tools


I have to show South Africa some love here especially since this won’t be the only time I’ll mention things from that country when it comes to the content of this album. The Congo wasn’t the only nation to produce a calculator in ancient times. In the Lebombo mountains in what would eventually be South Africa and Eswatini (the country formally known as Swaziland), the natives created their own tally stick also using a baboon bone. That was certainly innovative and this needs to be better known because I literally can’t think of any history class I took in school that mentioned ancient African civilizations with the exception of a whitewashed Egypt or maybe a casual mention of Hannibal of Carthage (now modern-day Tunisia). See, there were important math elements in Africa among many other things. Major props to Dr. Y. for informing me about this lesser-known history!

The Lebombo Bone image is from Afrolegends.

Ospreyshire Origins: About a Benjamin I -Banneker-

Lyrics:

Hours upon hours were spent reverse engineering and solving boring math problems given to me to kill time
I didn’t want to kill it
I wanted to keep it watch after watch
I took them apart and reconstructed them at will
I wanted something bigger, so I stretched my hands
Every minute and hour of my life
These faces grew as did my ambitions
The majority of this country were confounded that someone they oppressed made something
America, I am the grandfather of your clocks
You can count on that.


How did I not know about this man when I was younger? If that isn’t evidence how much schools don’t tell you, then I don’t know what is. Benjamin Banneker built the first working clock in America and it worked for decades. Banneker was an innovator in watchmaking, irrigation, education, and even astronomy in his time. Anyone who thinks black people can’t do anything constructive or innovative seriously needs their head examined for real. I can’t stand how certain inventors and creators never get appreciated especially in this country.

The image of Benjamin Banneker is from Afrikhepri.

Ospreyshire’s Top 10 Most Viewed Posts of 2019.

It’s list season and while this blog never had any fancy content, I thought it would be fine to do some kind of retrospective from the year that was 2019. These were the most viewed posts on Ospreyshire’s Realm last year. This was a mix of poetry, news, rants, awards, and music.

10: Am I Kind (Enough)?

9: Tie between the College Cheating Saga…, 6000+ Views, and Forgiving Myself Is Hard

8: Recording is Done!

7: Am I Not Angry (Enough)?

6: Saddest PSA

5: Perhaps I’m Mysterious? (Mystery Blog Award)
mystery-blogger

4: Dear Innovare album cover and tracklisting revealed
Untitled Design

3: I’m Really Neat? (Neat Blog Award)
real-neat-blog-award-cover

2: Do you (or should you) separate the art from the artist?

1: How I learned to utterly despise The Lion King
an_unexpected_aftermath_by_theforgivenartist-d4vhbtx

Feel free to check out these posts. Do you have any favorites? Which things did you like about the Ospreyshire blog in 2019?

Ospreyshire Origins: Onesimus the Unsung Hero

Lyrics:

Bodies kept dropping in Boston
In the century of their so-called Lord in the 18th century
While I wasn’t the same as the saint of the Byzantium,
We were both in bondage
My master begged me to save him and the city
With my memory from the motherland before I was chained
Once I was useful like my enforced foreign namesake, more kept breathing
All I want is credit and freedom, doctors
I don’t know about their originator, but I had stubbornness to accept the faith of those who captured me
Shame on me
Boston would’ve been a ghost town without my medical services


Happy New Year, everybody! This is the first new post of the new decade!

Anyways, let’s get to the subject at hand. This track is about the invention of medical inoculation. It was an invented by a slave named Onesimus who lived in Boston, MA hundreds of years ago. People were dying wholesale as smallpox ravaged this New England city. He managed to save thousands of lives with this medical technique that is still used to this day albeit modernized. It’s frustrating that this man never gets credit for his innovation in literally saving lives. One parallel that some Bible readers might notice would be the character of Philemon of the same name who was also a slave. I didn’t know about Onesimus until just a couple of years ago. He should be more renowned and I had to be the one to do it in spoken word form. https://face2faceafrica.com/article/this-slave-curbed-the-smallpox-epidemic-in-boston-in-1721-with-an-african-technique.

The image of Onesimus is from Face2Face Africa.

Last post of the decade

Here are thoughts of mine as an author. I hope 2020 gets better!

C. M. B. Bell's Writing Universe

It’s been a while…again.

I would like to say I’m sorry to all of you. I haven’t been as proactive on this blog as much as I should’ve been especially given all the books I’ve published and sold so far. Oh, who am I kidding? I’m certainly not making that Stephen King money.

I feel like I’ve failed you all by being so inconsistent and for not engaging all of you readers. Sure, I’ve done things like the Original Author challenge which I invented and promoted the Hollanduscosm and Revezia books I posted on here, but that’s not enough. Right now, I’ve been working on more Hollanduscosm stories with some returning characters from Hollandus Landing in different adventures.

What I hope to do is to post more content or at least be more consistent in posting things in 2020 and beyond. What will that look like? We’ll see…

Happy New…

View original post 5 more words

On Dismissing People’s Forms of Inspiration

There was a comment I received from my friend from my last post. Part of it was about how she didn’t want to dismiss people’s likes or interests if they mean so much to them.

It did get me thinking if I’m guilty of doing so…

Yes, I’m still shocked that last post involved an indie pro wrestling show in England of all things. I get and I understand why people bash that form of entertainment especially given the stupid stuff that happens in the mainstream and even some of the indie feds. What I do wonder is that if I do the same thing in certain forms. Some of you know that I write reviews and I have certainly written my share of negative critiques to movies, anime, documentaries, and short films. I wonder if there are people who actually were inspired and felt empowered by the things I critically pan. Even when I have conversations with people online or face-to-face, I know there are times where I’ve become open with mentioning my dislikes. I won’t mention an obvious example of me bashing a certain movie franchise when I’ve talked about the bad things that one company has done, but I do wonder if me speaking these uncomfortable truths have hindered their inspiration or maybe they’re not willing to disassociate themselves with the lies.

For me, it’s really hard to find inspiration and edification in several things. The fact that I found an unlikely one was great, but I know people are going to slag me off when it comes to me liking anything in that particular form of entertainment. I still stand by the notion that people need to find empowering images when they otherwise would be passed over, but I do wonder if I’m doing any harm in being so critical.

What are your thoughts?

Representation Matters Pt. II: “But why don’t you make your own characters?!”

Here we go, everybody. I’m thankful that there were bloggers who liked the first blog post in my Representation Matters series on the Ospreyshire blog. I wasn’t sure how people would take to my thoughts and personal experiences, but I’m glad there are those willing to read about them.

Let’s get to part 2 of this series.

I mentioned this in passing, but I remember seeing/hearing this quote which I see as a retort for those who have legitimate gripes with either the lack of (positive) representation or racial stereotypes: “Make your own characters!”. Those same people who say that are those who don’t have to deal with being derogated by their complexion en masse, let’s be honest here. It really shows an entitlement which inadvertently proved that study about TV watching in that previous post right if you really think about it.

Oh, I decided to heed those words, but not for the reasons that they would expect.

Some of you know this, but I have written multiple books. I have covered multiple genres and book formats such as novels, novellas, novelettes, and cell phone novels. One of my goals when I started writing the first Revezia book back in 2014 was to come up with multi-ethnic casts. With that particular series, it deconstructs and inverts so many tropes and cliches associated with fantasy, fairy tales, and one might argue a certain “canon” of sorts. The main character of the first book Terminal Rescue is Shamakani. He’s a black prince who leads a search/rescue operation for various healers in the area, is a talented swordsman, and he has a serious attitude even though he can be too serious at times to his detriment (I’m not going to write a Marty Stu character). In that series alone, I have protagonists of all ethnic groups and walks of life and that’s also the same with Hollandus Landing which is the first part of my cell phone novel series (It’s also free if you want. Just saying.). It was exhilarating creating these characters, but even then, I still had to be respectful. I’m thankful to have grown up in a multiracial city and I’ve talked with my friends to see if something was okay or not when it came to writing characters outside of my ethnic persuasion. This may sound cheesy, but I wanted to have that sense of humanity by having dynamic characters who are a certain ethnicity instead of just having their race define them. Trust me, there’s a difference.

Recently, the character I created who really helped increase my self-esteem a bit is Kasamba from Revezia: Sika Uvira Chronicle and the Revezia Electrum trilogy (Sika Uvira Chronicle is also free). Kasamba is a DIY inventor who can create various gadgets. He’s very intelligent, but also self-loathing and underestimates his own genius. Instead of being some muscle-bound freak, he is on the thinner side and uses his smarts and inventions whenever he is in a bad situation. I gave Kasamba some quirks like being really into indie movies while giving internalized snarky commentary on the state of mainstream films in a wink wink nudge nudge kind of way. His name is actually Tshiluba (a Congolese language) for “To Console” because writing him was a consolation to me and he’s able to do so for others in ways he doesn’t realize. After finding out I was of part Congolese descent, I thought I would incorporate that into this character and even his environment. He’s from a modern city on planet Revezia, has lots of decent technology equivalent to what we have on earth currently, and there’s not an ounce of poverty porn in his hometown! Not everything in Africa looks like mud huts, war zones, jungles, or the Pride Lands, GOT IT?! I’ve never even been to the continent and even I know that.

I guess by me creating my own characters, stories, or even art, this was therapy of sorts for me. I felt empowered by making some wonderful characters that I hope others could appreciate. If one person tells me that they really liked this hero or that hero especially if it’s someone like them, then I’d be beyond blessed. I would encourage you to give it a try even if it’s just a short story or drawing your own original characters if you ever felt that way. Mainstream media wasn’t going to placate me, so I have to take things in my own hands through my fiction, music, poetry, etc.

Hope you enjoyed reading this. What are your thoughts on representation? Have you felt like you had trouble relating to so many fictional characters? How do you discuss the concept of positive representation to others?

7000+ Views

This was quite unexpected.

I know I had a bunch of views over the past few days, but what I didn’t realize was all of that added to over 7000 views on my blog. Thank you so much! I was feeling frustrated and sad over this past week, but this made things a bit better. I hope things continue to go well on this blog.

Especially when it comes to upcoming albums…