A List Of My Dreams That Have Died

Voice actor
Record label owner
Touring musician
Subtitle/Translation work for an anime company (I even took Japanese classes back then, too)
Concert venue owner
Video game designer
Film director (even though I’ve made music videos for multiple bands and a big part of my college degree involved film production/creation)
Movie studio owner
Geography teacher
Professional traveler
Martial artist
Inventor

Those were a few that came to mind. Shame on me for not being inspired enough or was discouraged a lot by some bullies, jerks, and teachers. I want to have a career where I know I can make a positive difference to others, be successful and to rub that success in the faces of those who doubted and derogated me.

I mean, can’t you tell that I suffer from being disillusioned and generally bitter? It’s a miracle I still have elements of kindness in me. Am I the only one in the world who was been psychologically beaten down that much to never achieve different dreams?

Creativity is tough and other ailments

Been a while since I did an opinion piece that wasn’t reliant on news stories. Sure, I talked about fandom hypocrisy or how wanting originality makes me a bad guy to some people’s eyes, but I will talk about something else.

As Ospreyshire, I haven’t been active in poetry or recording my spoken word projects as much as I would like. While I will record something which I can’t talk about what, it is rough for me as I’m so uninspired to come up with another EP or possibly a full-length album. I thought I would’ve done so much more, but work, other creative projects, and other life events took more priority in my life.

I’m not going to say it’s all bad creatively since I’ve been on a literary grind and I’m stoked to try Camp NaNoWriMo which I haven’t done in 2 years. I just released 6 books which I feel happy about.

Now let’s get to the bad news.

I’ve become so disillusioned with so many things. I won’t go into the more personal details of my life, but there are many things that cause me so much frustration. Some of the news stories I’ve talked about recently have angered me to know end. While I’m glad people are being exposed and some individuals are speaking out against it, I wonder if this could cause a domino effect for justice to reign. A different aspect involves people’s general apathy to the world around them. I don’t want to sound like an SJW, but I feel like so many people don’t care or secretly agree with the bad things happening around them just so they can stay secure. It’s also caused me to enjoy things less such as most movies and anime. No offense to my fellow bloggers who cover those topics since this isn’t about you, but it is hard for me to ignore tragedies or researching things I wasn’t taught back when I was in school. Look, I’m not a moral guardian or some perfect person. Let me get that straight. Maybe it’s a mix of getting older, more jaded, and becoming more aware of the world around me that’s causing me to fall away from certain things.

We’ll see what the future holds…