Fans, Geeks, Nerds, and Whomever…How can you stay hopeful about what you like?

Uh oh. It has happened again. I’m dealing with a wave of cynicism and frustration yet again.

After dealing with a rough week, some of the aftereffects have been kicking in although not for the same reasons as to how I became frustrated over a week ago.

I know a lot of my followers would self-identify as being nerds, fans, or somewhere in between. Not going to lie, it’s mainly because of my other blogs instead of this one, but I appreciate you checking out the Ospreyshire page from time to time despite a certain other blog being currently on hiatus. There are times where I’m a bit jealous of you, so I have to ask you this simple question.

How can you stay hopeful about what you like?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been getting more jaded than usual when it comes to being a fan of certain things. Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it liking some things such as obscure movies, anime, music (listening and making it), or even playing video games which I rarely even do. I haven’t touched a video game in ages and I ended up playing Genesis stuff for a brief nostalgia kick. Even then, I felt empty. Was I really doing ANYTHING constructive by being into these things? Maybe I really was more stupid than I thought ever since my childhood. I just can’t understand how so many of you can be confident in what you all like.

For me, I’ve been bullied for what I liked. There have been times where I “hated” things out of spite to tick off some people who were giving me a hard time. Sure, I was derogated for worse things in my life, but that always annoyed me. I didn’t realize some of those same people were insecure for reasons I don’t know, but that’s irrelevant. Part of me wants to just stop liking things that gave me happiness. I wouldn’t call it joy since most of those hobbies and interests didn’t go that far or had that kind of edification to them to be honest with you. I create more than I consume especially when it comes to fiction or writing lyrics.

This may sound irrational, but I had thoughts on how I can or should deal with this matter. I’ve seriously wondered if I should bash people for what they like or shame them for being into certain kinds of fandoms. What if I told people that what they do isn’t constructive? What if I asked them if someone like me was into the same interests, would I get insulted or looked down upon? Should I tell them that they should be interested in more constructive or more important things? I’m sick of being moralized upon, so there’s something inside that wants me to do the same thing as revenge for what happened to me. There were so many missed opportunities for me to demoralize those who insulted me for having certain (nerdier) interests. Call it internalized anger. Call it me righting a wrong. Call it me trying to better myself, but I can’t hold onto this frustration for this long.

I feel that I need to be constructive. It’s not just working lots of hours for me. I need to create more than I consume. Whether it’s music, poetry, fiction, or my other interests, I feel the need to be constructive and I have to cut off distractions in my life.

I really am jealous of all you fans. I wish I could be as blissful and carefree as you. You all probably have better lives than me and have a healthy balance in life. I wish I wasn’t so dismal no matter how hard I attempt to break these negative feelings.

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Fighting Doppelgangers (Why Do the Masses Exalt Them?)

Image result for k9999 tetsuo

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Deified clones storm the way
At the altar of superficiality and petty fandom
The subterfuge from the creations of expensive gods
Becomes canonized into the minds and hearts of their deluded believers

The congregation bows to the duplicates
Without question or concern
Entertained by their subpar existences
Owed to others far greater than their mediocre lives

It’s time to silence the cacophony from this overpaid choir

There are those who want to expose every lie churned out
And to expose the real originals to drive the point home
What’s the matter?
Can’t handle the dosage of red pills and sodium amytal?

Woe to those who craft the precepts of denial
Ronnie Martin said it right when the good are starved
From decades of being forgotten
KRS-One was right. The thief is no greater than whom they steal from.
They will know their idols shall crumble
The true history shall appear
The clones will fall asunder at all costs


All photos property of their respective owners and used under US “Fair Use” laws.

Images of Tetsuo and K9999 are from Retro Injection

Tetsuo Shima from Akira is property of Katsushiro Otomo and Kodansha.

K9999 from The King of Fighters series is property of SNK Playmore.

Fan art of Claw and Scar is from WhiteLionWarrior at DeviantArt.

Claw from Kimba the White Lion is property of Tezuka Productions.

Scar from The Lion King is property of Disney.

Fandom Hypocrisy (A Rant)

This has been on my mind for a while, and I need to get this off my chest. I can’t stand various fandoms at times. Whether they are gamers, sports fans, otaku, music buffs, movie fans, comic nerds, bookworms, or whatever, they can get on my nerves.

It’s no wonder why I haven’t been getting into some of my own interests outside of non-fiction or my own creative projects and it’s not just because of how crazy busy my work schedule has been for months now.

I know not all fans are like this and I do support some bloggers who touch on some of those topics, so let me make that clear. However, I’m just frustrated and disillusioned by so many people and how shallow they can be. You have all these major issues going on like racism, the economy, politics, police brutality, homelessness, and other social ills going on, yet people complain about just trivial things with what they like/or don’t like in what they watch/play/listen to.

It also bugs me how people have freaking civil wars over movies, TV shows, or albums as if their whole identity is tied into whatever is to their liking, and that needs to stop. On one hand, you have people who think what they like is immaculate and the creators can do no wrong while freaking out that anyone would DARE dislike or mention some flaws. On the flipside, those same people will bash anything and everything from one creator as if they’re always in the wrong. Whenever someone does mention something like an unfortunate implication or having bad messages, some fans freak out and say “They [the creators] didn’t mean it!” as they try to hand-wave something away. It doesn’t change the fact that those actions were still done and/or could easily be interpreted in that fashion.

I do apologize if I get a bit theological here, but I think some fandoms could be intense enough to be a form of idolatry. Regardless whether you believe in a deity or not, it really becomes ironic. Instead of some Baals or Molochs, you could have someone like a theist replacing their god(s) with let’s say…superheroes, video games, or whatever’s on HBO. For those who aren’t sure about any higher powers out there or believe that said higher powers are fictional, then wouldn’t it be ironic to follow something involving fictional characters like most movies or TV shows and be obsessed with them? I’m not bashing anyone’s worldviews, so let me make that clear. I’m just wondering why and how people do these things or why they can excuse they’re own behaviors.

The level of stupidity and pettiness from these rapid and hypocritical fans has been getting on my nerves. You’re entitled to your opinions, but this self-righteousness needs to stop now. I can’t stand the double standards whether it involves anything revolving around “nerdy stuff” or to something as severe as racism or politics. I suggest to re-examine your thoughts and beliefs to what you like or dislike and figure out why you’re so willing to attack or defend depending on your positions.

Seriously, I can name a few examples of some fandom hypocrisy online and in real life. Allow me to call out some of this facepalm-worthy behavior…

Don’t say that something has too many people dying when you like Game of Thrones, Evangelion, or watch a lot of war movies.

Don’t tell me that such-and-such is a rip-off of so-and-so when you like The Lion King, Inception, or even some of Led Zeppelin’s music.

Don’t tell me that something is too biased politically when you like Last Man Standing, Glee, or you get your news from either MSNBC or Fox News depending on where you stand with your partisan beliefs.

Don’t tell me that something is too violent and bloody while you like Attack on Titan, Mortal Kombat, or a majority of Tarantino flicks.

Don’t bark at me when you think something’s too mainstream when you like St. Vincent (the singer), Bon Iver, or Juno.

Don’t tell me something is childish when you watch anything from Disney or Dreamworks. Actually, one could make a case that adult cartoons like South Park, Family Guy, or Bojack Horseman are juvenile in their own rights.

This needs to end. I know this blog was mainly for my music and spoken word project even though I haven’t recorded a lot lately, but I’m still willing to share my opinions about various things going on. People really need to check their priorities when it comes to what they like and how they live. Thanks for reading and dealing with my frustration.

Katauta #45

I had a great conversation with my friend Jeannette the other day with how I was able to feel more confident in my interests and how blogging has allowed me to be more assertive with people in regards to my opinions.

The imagery I chose for this poem involves some movies and memorabilia in my small collection even though it’s not all of it. Yes, I also plug my indie film/documentary/world cinema/anime/short film review blog Iridium Eye on there, but it was relevant.

Here’s a list of the things shown in this video:

Haibane Renmei: Hanenone soundtrack
This Is Not a Film DVD
The Place Promised In Our Early Days DVD
Strings DVD
Before Your Eyes DVD
Read Or Die DVD autographed by Crispin Freeman
Kimba the White Lion promotional NBC black & white cel featuring Kimba and Claw
Battle Royale Shirt

Interestingly enough, I’ve reviewed all of those thing on Iridium Eye. Just sayin’. Haha!

Hope you enjoyed that poem.