I longed for whatever heroes I could find
Who could relate to me and vice versa
Shame how I ignored that desire
As I was programmed to be like those who were placed above me
My forced autodidact tendencies had to fight back
While I become enlightened
I look back in regret
No knowing what needed to know back then
Tag Archives: Free Verse
Unlikely Associations
When I expect flipped chairs and flame wars
I get blindsided by polite responses
I don’t try to start battles
Based on opinions
Yet I become suprised
When olive branches and doves fly around
Perhaps there was more tact than I anticipated
Showing civility despite my own strong opinions or uncomfortable truths
As people actually appreciate my thoughts and facts on various matters
Embedded in Grudges
I’ve had bones to pick with people for two-thirds of my life
I wished I never had this problem
As I saw others get away with things I couldn’t
I suffered in silence
No matter how much I would speak up
Pessimism was a friend for years
Much to my chagrin
I wished I wouldn’t have to internalize everything
In order to survive.
I Longed For Someone Like Me
When I was in front of the silver screen or the tiny screen
When I immersed myself in hardcovers or paperbacks
I felt empty on the inside, but didn’t even know it then
As a child, I was impressionable
The others found their heroes (however fictional)
While I looked for others who didn’t look like me
Grasping for something to boost my esteem
As I died on the inside while being oblivious
The others found their heroes or morals
When they NEVER applied to me
The others assumed I was a villain
Who deserved to be punished at all costs
Even when I minded my own business
No prince, no superhero, no fairy tale protagonist
Looked like me
Years later, I was forced to create my own worlds and heroes
While it was constructive, I wished I did it sooner
Ichise
Limbs are torn
While suffering in a solitary state
I hobble by with whatever strength I have left
My fighting spirit temporarily broken
Until I can walk again
I remain speechless for days
Until hope from unlikely places comes in
However, this help had ulterior motives
I wanted to feel and to be human
Even when I feel like a machine
This fighting spirit needs to be revived
Things I Learned from Disney Movies (or How Jaded I’ve Become with Reality and Adulthood)
WARNING: The following poem is scathing in it’s honesty and has elements of caustic sarcasm in it. I’m normally a literal person, but the rare times when I get sarcastic, I’m merciless with it. Don’t expect me to hold back and not just because I’m not a fan of this company.
The Happiest Place on Earth was all a lie in hindsight.
I certainly wanted to be happy and joyful, yet I was never meant to have that kind of positivity. I could die not visiting those castles in Orlando and Anaheim, and I’d be okay with this (Sure, I’ve been to Orlando, but I never went to THAT place).
There were things I learned, but I never realized some of these things until I was in my teens or even as an adult.
I learned that beauty always equals goodness because ugly people are worthless at best or evil at worst.
I learned that happy endings come to those who don’t work hard or work smart. Well, only for certain people, that is.
I learned that originality is a sin, so it’s better to adapt, buy the rights to something or outright plagiarize someone else’s work.
I learned that princes don’t look like me.
I learned that true love is the only things that matters.
I learned that if you’re female, then you better be a size 2 at worst. Being very emaciated or obese is tantamount to being evil for those lacking a Y chromosome.
I learned that wishing is the best way to get what you want. Well, only for certain people.
I learned that fantasy is more important than reality.
I learned that you can sing your cares away because nothing EVER bad happens in musicals (Bjork reference!).
I learned that Africa is more appealing to the animators when there are no humans who look like they are from the continent. It’s a lascivious fantasy for both furries and open racists. Yeah, I said it!
I learned that stories should be recycled for that cash flow.
I learned that poverty and homelessness aren’t really THAT bad especially if you’re a stray animal.
I learned that cultural appropriation and racial degradation is the name of the game although the Polynesian community managed to be taken respectfully though.
I learned that you can’t be a hero unless you have at least one dead parent. I guess broken home lives are better for them?
I learned that life isn’t like the movies and I wished more people would notice this. Not everyone will have the same experience and some are targets of ridicule. I pity those edified by a mouse.
Injustice Induced Fury
Strained gnats and devoured camels
Have been key sectors into the imbalanced scales
And the tipped blindfolds on she that wields Libra
I err and I’m the devil
Certain others do the same or worse and they get a slap on the wrist
I wanted those who have sinned to have suffered like me
I saw things on a grand scale once my awakening began years ago
The blatant disregard for equality
Caused my eyes to become such a deep shade of scarlet
Even Kurapika would gasp at the sight of those hues
Alas, I had no Judgment Chain to solve these atrocities (that would be terrifying)
And people should be glad I’m not a king or at least a high-ranking politician
I couldn’t stand the sight of killers being held as victims
While non-violent offenders and those wrongly accused are violated
I really wanted to take a deep breath and just shatter these faulty systems with each exhale
Yet this world is far too hideous and cruel to let me do so
I longed for restoration
Shedding The Vestiges of Music Fandom Within
I liked the wrong genres for the wrong reasons since my high school years
5 star reviews and independent spirits caught my eyes
Namedropping bands most have never heard of was a wasted talent
Things have slowly changed once I wanted to know more about my heritage
It only went to show that the bands I hated and even some that I liked were sheltered
I mean, if I wanted to hear first world problems in musical form, I’d listen to pop punk
The originators have become even more apparent once I delved into classic soul and blues
Cultural appropriation ruled for decades in the realm called rock and roll
As the original innovators still haven’t been renowned in Cleveland
I was insulted and mocked for liking music in my college days
While I can’t distance myself in that regard (I’m a musician, you know)
I have to shed so much of what I used to like to codify more of what I stand for and honoring the innovators in music who never got credit
No matter if they are pop fans or the indie elite, I will not take your judgmental pretensions.
Fandom As Idolatry
Cel-created characters and comic strips have become gods
To those begging for heroes in their psychological wanting
Living vicariously through fiction
When it caters to those who look like them (the most)
Schisms erupt between various incorporated sects
There is no reformation in those attempts
Theme songs become worship anthems
Movie quotes become scriptures
Cons become congregations
Regardless if the followers believed in an Elohim or not
The irony is strong for different reasons
Even when it comes to real people, they become deified
Not realizing they would soon prove to be quite mortal in some time
Who knows? Maybe what I’m saying is blasphemous.
Defensive For What
People took my trust for granted
Pardon me for asking questions about your intent
I want to make sure you’re not an enemy of mine
I don’t want to make them, but I must defend myself
The years of people claiming I’m over-analyzing or reading too much into others
Has made me weary
I learned the hard way that not everyone will be my friend
No matter how kind and genuine I am
(saying nothing about how jerks seem to get their way all the time)
It’s my way of vetting others because I want to know
Whether I should be defensive around you or not
