Essential Time

My time is given for others even though I’m able to make a buck in this uncertain juncture.

My gloves are on, but I don’t have to go to the ring.

While I may have looked down on one occupation, I found some importance even when I wanted to do something else.

My health is on the line each time I walk through the door to help.

The diligence becomes greater as my creative works are harder to reach.

Maybe I should’ve canceled that challenge to write even if I have more reason to stay at home when I’m not on the clock at one place.

I’m glad I’m considered useful, but I wonder what the new normal would look like.

No Scene To Call a Community (Subculture Chameleon)

Loud guitars and screaming vocals surprisingly caught my ears during my teenage years

I learned how to mosh at the summer festivals because it would be a bummer if I didn’t know what to do in the pit

Later in high school, I wanted the indie spirit as I immersed myself in bands that weren’t swimming in the mainstream

I chilled out a bit and got more in tune with dynamics

Next came the monochrome clothes and delay pedals

I found the beauty in instrumentals and musical complexity in the post-rock landscape

Somewhere down the line, I embraced fast acoustic music played with dyed hair and mohawks

I found out you can still be punk even when unplugged

While I enjoyed those genres at one point, I realized I never belonged

There were some associates, but I realized in hindsight how insecure people were and how insecure I was

Despite avoiding the top 40, I was still trying to fit in for the wrong reasons

If only I could make a scene where I can belong

Only an osprey made me realize to be myself more often no matter how avant-garde I got

3 Inches of Snow In a World of Social Distancing

It’s late March and everything is dressed in white.
Last Christmas didn’t look like this even here in the Midwest.
Adding on to the orders to stay home
Makes my confinement greater lest I go to my “essential” day job.
I try to brave this with a forced smile on my face.
I would’ve never expected to shovel in a time of quarantining.
It would be too soon to make snow angels with a corona halo looming somewhere.

Okay, I’ll be locked in with some books now.

Unlikely Associations

When I expect flipped chairs and flame wars
I get blindsided by polite responses
I don’t try to start battles
Based on opinions
Yet I become suprised
When olive branches and doves fly around
Perhaps there was more tact than I anticipated
Showing civility despite my own strong opinions or uncomfortable truths
As people actually appreciate my thoughts and facts on various matters

I Longed For Someone Like Me

When I was in front of the silver screen or the tiny screen
When I immersed myself in hardcovers or paperbacks
I felt empty on the inside, but didn’t even know it then
As a child, I was impressionable
The others found their heroes (however fictional)
While I looked for others who didn’t look like me
Grasping for something to boost my esteem
As I died on the inside while being oblivious
The others found their heroes or morals
When they NEVER applied to me
The others assumed I was a villain
Who deserved to be punished at all costs
Even when I minded my own business
No prince, no superhero, no fairy tale protagonist
Looked like me
Years later, I was forced to create my own worlds and heroes
While it was constructive, I wished I did it sooner

Things I Learned from Disney Movies (or How Jaded I’ve Become with Reality and Adulthood)

WARNING: The following poem is scathing in it’s honesty and has elements of caustic sarcasm in it. I’m normally a literal person, but the rare times when I get sarcastic, I’m merciless with it. Don’t expect me to hold back and not just because I’m not a fan of this company.


The Happiest Place on Earth was all a lie in hindsight.
I certainly wanted to be happy and joyful, yet I was never meant to have that kind of positivity. I could die not visiting those castles in Orlando and Anaheim, and I’d be okay with this (Sure, I’ve been to Orlando, but I never went to THAT place).

There were things I learned, but I never realized some of these things until I was in my teens or even as an adult.

I learned that beauty always equals goodness because ugly people are worthless at best or evil at worst.

I learned that happy endings come to those who don’t work hard or work smart. Well, only for certain people, that is.

I learned that originality is a sin, so it’s better to adapt, buy the rights to something or outright plagiarize someone else’s work.

I learned that princes don’t look like me.

I learned that true love is the only things that matters.

I learned that if you’re female, then you better be a size 2 at worst. Being very emaciated or obese is tantamount to being evil for those lacking a Y chromosome.

I learned that wishing is the best way to get what you want. Well, only for certain people.

I learned that fantasy is more important than reality.

I learned that you can sing your cares away because nothing EVER bad happens in musicals (Bjork reference!).

I learned that Africa is more appealing to the animators when there are no humans who look like they are from the continent. It’s a lascivious fantasy for both furries and open racists. Yeah, I said it!

I learned that stories should be recycled for that cash flow.

I learned that poverty and homelessness aren’t really THAT bad especially if you’re a stray animal.

I learned that cultural appropriation and racial degradation is the name of the game although the Polynesian community managed to be taken respectfully though.

I learned that you can’t be a hero unless you have at least one dead parent. I guess broken home lives are better for them?

I learned that life isn’t like the movies and I wished more people would notice this. Not everyone will have the same experience and some are targets of ridicule. I pity those edified by a mouse.

Injustice Induced Fury

Strained gnats and devoured camels
Have been key sectors into the imbalanced scales
And the tipped blindfolds on she that wields Libra
I err and I’m the devil
Certain others do the same or worse and they get a slap on the wrist
I wanted those who have sinned to have suffered like me
I saw things on a grand scale once my awakening began years ago
The blatant disregard for equality
Caused my eyes to become such a deep shade of scarlet
Even Kurapika would gasp at the sight of those hues
Alas, I had no Judgment Chain to solve these atrocities (that would be terrifying)
And people should be glad I’m not a king or at least a high-ranking politician
I couldn’t stand the sight of killers being held as victims
While non-violent offenders and those wrongly accused are violated
I really wanted to take a deep breath and just shatter these faulty systems with each exhale
Yet this world is far too hideous and cruel to let me do so
I longed for restoration