Were my issues against Disney fans stemmed with jealousy and not just hypocrisy from them?

Here’s a break from my poetry and other posts. I am aware about the serious issues going on from this week alone, so this isn’t me ignoring what’s going on around the world. This kind of started after listening to James Humphrey and Imo Emah’s podcast series where they critique some Disney movies of all things which were quite interesting. I’m glad they weren’t sycophants covering all these movies which was a huge plus. Going with that as well as still self-analyzing all the psychological damage I received in my life, I really got to thinking about how I was made fun of for what I liked as well as what I didn’t liked.

Before I get into these thoughts, I will promise you that I’m not going to beat a dead horse about that freaking 90s franchise that some of my regular readers know I love to bash on here and my film review blog. It’s much bigger than that.

Did I ever like Disney movies when I was a kid? Of course. I wouldn’t lie about that. I stopped watching them when I was in my teens mainly because I really got into anime as well as starting to check out international movies. What really ticked me off during my high school and college years was being a target of bullying for what I liked. Anime and some superhero stuff (I used to play HeroClix back in the day) more so during my teens while I was insulted for liking independent music during my time at university. While I was bullied for worse things like my heritage which I won’t deny, I was also made fun of at college for NOT liking Disney stuff. I thought that was weird because I thought it was too childish even though I never voiced it out loud to anyone. Yet at the same time even to this day, I see adults rocking merch from the House of Mouse and NO ONE says anything. I’m not just talking about people in their 20s or 30s, I mean people old enough to be my parents and even grandparents. Is liking Disney in America one of those “bully-proof” or “acceptable” hobbies like sports, shoes, cars, or premium cable TV shows (think about the stuff on HBO, AMC, FXX, or Showtime) where no one can make fun of you? I’ve wondered about that.

I absolutely hated how that fandom would be treated with Mickey Mouse gloves while I was a laughingstock for watching Gankutsuou or listening to Starflyer 59 among other examples. How was it that other people could watch “kiddie” movies and shows with no pushback? I’ve wondered that for years and I was furious on the inside. For years, I wanted to find ways where I can figure out people before I would insult them for what they liked if they had issues with me, but I never had the opportunity to do so. There were ideas of bashing the movies they watched, how they have bad animated role models, or how formulaic the plots are. As I got older, I got more rhetorical ammunition against that fandom with the racism, sexism, or malevolent corporate stuff I’ve learned about with the house that Walt built. If I knew about these issues then like I know now, I would give them all the riot act and try to verbally break their self-esteem as retaliation for all the insults I’ve received from them by dropping all these facts in their faces. There’s still vitriol against other fans that was compounded as I put up with petty insults as well as severe verbal attacks in different topics. It’s a miracle I didn’t blow up on bloggers who like the works from that company especially when it comes to multiple movie examples I’ve openly criticized including the one example I don’t need to bring up again at this time (trust me, I would’ve made some people look like hardcore bigots just with that one example if I knew all that baggage back then). Sometimes, I wonder how I can even read reviews from bloggers I enjoy that happen to cover movies from the Mouse and not have a conniption fit in the process. Yes, I still have anger about this subject with various fandoms being treated better than the topics I enjoy. No wonder I like other things like history, geography, and avant-garde stuff even though I also enjoy lesser topics.

As I continued this self-realization, I knew this was hypocrisy on them. I still hate how I get bashed for liking certain things while no one insults them or at the very least I don’t see them. Part of me wonders of there were other intersections about me that made me a target like race, my personality, mental health, etc. Part of it was jealousy. Even to this day, I struggle with sometimes caring too much about what others think. It’s really tough when I get demonized for standing up for myself even when I’m not doing or saying anything wrong. I even thought that if I had my way back then, I’d make sure people would be forced to respect my hobbies and interests while also having all the right rhetorical arguments to bash someone’s hobbies if they dared try to insult what I like. Look, I’m not Jesus here. I’m not trying to be some perfect individual or some flawless moral guardian. I don’t want to lie about some of the thoughts I had even when it comes to jealousy and sorting out my psychological baggage. There was jealously in wishing that I was never hurt by anyone no matter how petty or severe the attacks are against me. I was also angry how I felt like not many people were criticizing them or worse, extolling the bad things that have been documented. While I still get angry at people giving those movies and that company a pass for everything, part of that anger stems from jealousy and not just doing my best to call out evil in this world.

I know this isn’t some mind-enriching post, but I just feel like I have to get this off my chest as I’m still trying to make sense of my mental state.

The World Saw the Stark Contrasts

Imagine if their complexion was multiple shades darker.

In this idiotic chaos, the world saw the stark contrasts.

Not just with some donkeys and some elephants alike facepalming, but others from the globe shuddered.

Melanin would’ve been an instant conviction if the shoe was on the other foot.

Felony charges would be tossed around like candy.

A harsher response would’ve been an understatement as they wouldn’t have made it to the steps.

If looting is bad (which it is), then what about the podiums, documents, and other things?

Why didn’t those who stormed the building just comply?

Those who screamed “law and order!” last summer didn’t practice what they preached.

While numerous initialed powers do their research, more faces popped up albeit with no perp walks on the small screen.

Three piece suits, stethoscopes, and even those who didn’t wear badges that day were in trouble.

That’s not getting into the severe omission of masks and the disgusting amount of human excrement smeared or poured around.

Why the zip ties, molotovs, guns, and other harmful objects? How is a shirt with “6MWE” somehow less offensive than the word “equality” to them?

Patriots? Nothing says loving America like waving a flag used by traitors (did you read the sarcasm).

The world saw these stark contrasts.

Are sound minds too much to ask for?







LA County and Compton Police are infiltrated by gangs to terrorize Black People. A whistleblowing sheriff proved so many people right by exposing this.


I don’t want to downplay the seriousness of the situation, but how sad is it that after finding out about this expose, the thing I said next was “And next on the news…Water is wet.”

Chalk that up to something most of America thinks is just a conspiracy theory when Black people say it until they’re proven right just like the War on Drugs, The Southern Strategy, The Devil’s Punchbowl, or even outside of America such as medical experiments done to Africans against their will (See: Cold Case Hammerskj√∂ld). Basically, an LA County sheriff exposed the infiltration of the Executioners gang inside police departments in that part of Southern California. They would celebrate with illegal arrest quotas and tattoo parties after shooting people. This consists of white and Latinx officers with the latter clearly being used as race buffers. What made me furious wasn’t just because of the rampant injustice including racially profiling Compton’s mayor, but that the local channel clips blurred out the Executioners while leaving the whistleblower’s face intact. That shows you EXACTLY which side their bread is buttered on. When was the last time you’ve seen Black gang members have all of their faces censored in the news? Double standards, much? It’s situations like these that only give more rhetorical strength to those protesting against police brutality and racism. It’s crazy how many innocent people have been wronged by these gangsters with badges. Phil made a great point about how this could be a field day for criminal defense lawyers regardless if their clients are innocent or not. These cops have NO RIGHT to talk or press charges if they’re arresting gang members when they have some on the police department (not that anyone should join a gang to begin with).

This is sick how they’ve been able to fly under the radar. This isn’t the first or only police department to have this issue, but it’s one that’s being exposed right now. These police departments should clean house of all these criminals who managed to not be in the jails for their actions. You can’t say one type of gang is bad when a different one with good only because they have badges. Unbelievable…

Barking First and Loudest

A platoon of pointing fingers arrive with a wall of megaphones

They sound like several packs of dogs to me

Psychologically scalded by jeremiads and chastisements

I’ve been on the receiving end of those accusations

Regardless if I had a halo or horns in those situations

How short-sighted of them

I never tried to be a god as their pettiness is on full display

I couldn’t always fight back, but for most of my life I hid onto this resentment

The same things they’ve accused me of are the reasons why they barked in the first place

That or they defend those who don’t deserve such rhetorical bulwarks

Keep barking, your vices and those you stan(d) for are all too obvious.

Another proof positive example of color-coded injustice. Exhibit A: Sebastian Arzadon in Lawrenceburg, TN


I wasn’t aware about this story until just yesterday. Boy, do I need to talk about this. In Lawrenceburg, TN, there was a double murder suspect named Sebastian Arzadon who was finally caught by police. What did the cops do while he was detained? He got free bottled water and medical treatment! Wow, if I saw that video out of context and with no commentary, I would’ve thought they were treating some person who saved a child or animal from a fire or an emergency situation. I’m sure people like George Floyd for example got similar treatment despite not killing anyone, right?

Oh, wait. He’s dead!

Lawrenceburg PD, thank you for proving the anti-racist organizations right. If you wonder why people chant “Black lives matter”, this is one of the reasons why. I’m also glad Phil brought up the similarities with Dylann Roof whom as you remember killed 9 people at a church and got free Burger King from the feds. This is unbelievable. Some may argue that it’s a different police department in another state or that Arzadon didn’t resist arrest.

Neither did George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Philando Castille, Terrence Crutcher, Alton Sterling, Tamir Rice, and so many more. That argument is invalid.

That police chief in the video who said they would treat anyone the same way regardless of race is such an obvious lie that if Pinocchio said the same thing, his nose would grow a foot longer instantly. I have NEVER seen a Black person get treated that way ever in my life in America. If someone argues that this country treats murderers better than innocent people or at least those with non-violent crimes, then this is one example. You can also add Brock Turner, Ethan Couch, Niklaus Cruz, and others on that list, too.

I do tip my hat off to the internet and Snoop Dogg for calling this stuff out and meme-ing this clear double standard.

Observations, Questions, and Rants about How Messed Up Everything Is

I don’t feel like doing anything poetic. I need to let off some steam about the chaos going on. This climate has made me sad, furious, and nervous among other things. Some of the answers should be obvious to some of you when I ask these questions.

How insane is it that reporters are getting assaulted and arrested just for doing their jobs? People know it’s violating freedom and the press and the 1st Amendment, right?

How is it that the Third Amendment would actually come up in conversation outside of the confines of a US government or citizenship class? The fact that it was invoked to get National Guard troops out of DC hotels in my lifetime is mind blowing. It even trended on Twitter of all places, too!

What does this say about society when Sesame Street characters can show up at a CNN Town Hall and address the issues of racism, police brutality, white privilege, protesting, and reconciliation better than any politician of either major American political party during my lifetime?

How is it that plants and instigators of the peaceful protests get treated better than those who are legitimately protesting nonviolently? Also, why isn’t mainstream media going hard against the undercover agents looting and just blame every black person they see who happens to be nearby?

How is it that the Buffalo cops can still lie on an elderly white protestor, get caught lying when the video came out, or how 57 officers “resigned” in support of the police who pushed them? Once the video dropped, white America for one second got to see what it was like to be black when they saw someone who could be their grandfather, father, brother, or even them have his skull crack on the pavement and bleed while the authorities walked by like nothing happened.

How come “Reopen the State” Covidiots can threaten governors, policemen, and can show up willy-nilly with AK-47s and AR-15s on government property and no one does anything yet unarmed anti-racism protestors get met with batons, rubber bullets, flash grenades, or even military forces?

So teachers can be punished (suspended or fired) for yelling at children, yet a cop in Fontana, California can get paid leave for raping a minor 4 years ago, and just NOW get charged for it? I’m sorry, but if anyone doesn’t get fired and arrested for such a heinous act, then NOBODY should be fired!

Why aren’t Breonna Taylor’s killers even charged yet? She really needs justice and those murderers shouldn’t be able to get away scot-free for what they did.

How is it that whatever good cops are there get punished and/or bullied for calling out against police brutality or trying to stop abusive behavior, but the ones who do the abusing get protected?

A football player can conflate anti-racist causes with “disrespecting the flag” and one’s just right to have an opinion, but to call out against systemic racism and they should just “shut up and dribble”? Double standards much when it comes to athletes of certain complexions?

What does it say that people are more offended by people wanting equality than Mark Wahlberg actually committing hate crimes in the 80s against black and Vietnamese people? Boy, does this make Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch look like vile cultural appropriation in hindsight, don’t you think?

How is it that some Republicans can jump ship to support a Democrat? I’m an independent and even I was like “Wait? WHAAAAAT?! How is this possible?”. This makes no sense.

Why is it that the same people who try to stock up on arms in case there’s tyrannical activity in America are eerily silent about legit unconstitutional attacks on peaceful protestors and reporters?

How can so many countries actually protest against racial injustice at once regardless of their demographics?

Those are a few observations I’ve noticed over the past couple of weeks. Hypocrisy, bigotry, and mass confusion has been rattling my brain.

An Untitled Yet Relevant Poem, An Apology, and Some Life Updates

The very allegation of a fraudulent Andrew Jackson didn’t warrant an execution

The globe saw how vile the act was

Earlier on, others in the same profession acted with extreme restraint against tooled up whiners who threatened them and politicians

What stark irony and hypocrisy

That was undeserved in the land of 10,000 lakes

May justice remove her blindfold and for olive branches to renovate this society

[Dedicated to George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and many more…]


I’m sorry I haven’t been talkative on my blogs over the past few days. I’ve been dealing with different issues. Some are certainly miniscule in hindsight, some are about my emotions, and the current state of America REALLY hasn’t helped. I needed to calm down before posting something very irrational. Is it that hard for people to have human decency? What did surprise me was how many have been saddened about what happened recently. You know that’s something when even mainstream figures of different class and political backgrounds are condemning this. My silence over the past few days was not me ignoring these atrocities. Trust me, I’ve been reading up on these things. I can’t lie, I had to break it up with lighthearted stuff, books, and even the occasional film so I don’t go stark raving mad or dangerously depressed.

I don’t picture myself posting as frequently as I usually do as of recently on this blog. This isn’t just because of the current climate. I also have other things to do like some constructive projects and even educational things.

As sappy as it sounds, I just want justice, peace, and people to just love as well as freaking accepting the humanity of others. It’s certainly a miracle that I have enough compassion to wish for such things.

Fandom As Idolatry

Cel-created characters and comic strips have become gods
To those begging for heroes in their psychological wanting
Living vicariously through fiction
When it caters to those who look like them (the most)
Schisms erupt between various incorporated sects
There is no reformation in those attempts
Theme songs become worship anthems
Movie quotes become scriptures
Cons become congregations
Regardless if the followers believed in an Elohim or not
The irony is strong for different reasons
Even when it comes to real people, they become deified
Not realizing they would soon prove to be quite mortal in some time
Who knows? Maybe what I’m saying is blasphemous.

Do you (or should you) separate the artist from the art?

I’ve been thinking about this recently after conversing with some bloggers on WordPress. Without going into too much detail, I had some dialogue where I mentioned how some creators have done bad things that have been documented. Two different bloggers in separate conversations told me that they separate the art from the artist like how the creation is independent of the actions of the creator(s). They were both civil in their discussions even when we talked about heavy things.

For me, I can’t separate the two.

Whenever I hear something true about a creator or company doing bad things, I distance myself from the creation. The biggest one for me in recent memory was Rurouni Kenshin. That is an anime series that I enjoyed when I was in middle school and high school. I thought the action was great, had strong dramatic elements, and the Trust & Betrayal OVA was one of the best prequels ever. Just a couple of years ago, it call came crashing down when creator Nobuhiro Watsuki was caught with child porn in his house. Not only that, but all he had to do was pay a 200k Yen fine (roughly $1848 USD in current currency terms), got no jail time, and his Kenshin: Hokkaido Arc got to continue after being on hiatus with the news about this crime. When I heard about Watsuki being found dead to rights for his unspeakable crimes, I washed my hands of anything involving that manga-ka monster. I could name other examples of things I stopped liking because of controversies proven true, and you know what some of them are.

On the flipside, I wonder how selective people are when they talk about separating art from the artists. If someone wants to stop listening to Chris Brown because of him beating Rihanna, would they have to stop listening to anything from Phil Spector who straight up MURDERED his girlfriend? Trust me, you won’t be looking at “Let It Be” by The Beatles the same again (he engineered that song). If people don’t want anything to do with Bill Cosby, then would they have to stop watching anything from Roman Polanski who was found guilty (yet fled the country) of drugging and raping a minor? Also, you know he’s still making movies and won awards long after the fact? That’s what I can’t stand about so many people in their hypocrisy.

For me, I can’t stand it when people give others a free pass when they do horrible things that others wouldn’t get away with it. Not going to lie, it does hurt when I have to stop liking something because of their actions or if there are unfortunate implications that I don’t want to subject myself to. Someone’s creation whether it’s music, art, film, TV, etc. is connected to the creators in my humble opinion.

Now let’s talk. Do you separate the art from the artists? Why or why not?